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As demonic crooner Ronnie James Dio once famously opined βwhen you listen to fools, the mob rules.βΒ Maybe this prescient piece of advice was being plied to the January 6 insurrection, maybe it was being plied to Halloween Kills, but just maybe Dioβs magical ways were sorting out many future truths.Β
JoinedMarch 18, 2018
Articles416
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A five star film thatβs also simultaneously a one star film? A film that occupies an incredibly rare space. Itβs loved. Itβs hated. Itβs revered. Itβs reviled. A film thatβs poorly shot, conceived, and acted, but its legendarily awful veneer gives way to a blood soaked interior thatβs impossible not to LOVE.Β
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A determined novel that spans multiple time frames and plumb near covers every last aspect horror genre -- except for UFOs and Bigfoot. That might sound like a stretch, but it ainβt. Thereβs witches. Thereβs ghouls. Thereβs 1970s grindhouse lore. Thereβs the conventions and their inevitable fan-boy hangers on.Β Thereβs even true crime podcasters. This book covers it all. Maybe thatβs a good thing and maybe itβs not.Β
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The Last Matinee is a loving homage to film. More to the point itβs a loving homage and exploration of Argento, Fulchi, grindhouse cinema, slashers, grimy movie theaters, and quite possibly the great Lamberto Bava film Demons. Donβt be fooled though. While The Last Matinee pulls from many of the classics, itβs got its own unique style and flavor, and itβs cram-packed with EYEBALLS.Β
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The son of De Palmaβs Blow-Out! The grandson of Michelangelo Antonioniβs Blow-Up! A new vision of paranoid conspiracy theories as told through the latest fandangled piece of technology! Or in this case technologies.Β
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Itβs fair to say that we might not know the full impact of the global pandemic tragedy for years or even decades. Some have been tragically impacted by the pandemic, some have wandered in a face-covered fog, and others have irresponsibly stuck their heads in the sand. Everyone has had choices to make during the pandemic and those choices have manifested in the horrible, but theyβve also been used for creativity and good.Β
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Straight outta the Pacific Northwest comes another joint from the same team that brought you 2018βs Big Legend.Β A far more daring, if not a little less linear, than their first outing with Bigfoot, 2021βs The Stairs is a complex bit of business wrapped up in a cautionary camping tale.Β
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Just when you thought it was safe to go to the movies, or watch a horror film, or be a woman, along comes a nasty bit of business courtesy of Frodo Baggins.Β
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Is there anyone more qualified to tell the emotional tale of a mother and son relationship beset by ghostly visuals and a murderous mystery? If there is please tell us because as far as weβre concerned Stephen King is still sitting a top horror hill and thereβs not anyone out there that will ever reach this pinnacle.Β
If you follow the ol' Scariest Things Podcast you know that we love our posters! No poster is too weird, too gory, too strange, too horrifying, or too vague.
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It looks like a horror film. It acts like a horror film. Itβs directed by cinema great and heir to the Hitchcock throne. Its promotional materials portend horror is just around the corner. But donβt be fooled, this super-star-packed 1970s telekinetic hype machine is nothing but a boring and unnecessarily long after-school special.
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Some will say the epicenter of the Fulci universe lie in the greatness of the gory triptych: The New York Ripper, The House by the Cemetery, and The Beyond. Others will point to the earlier, less gory but equally frightening confines of The Psychic, Don't Torture a Duckling, and A Lizard in a Woman's Skin. No matter where you fall on the Lucio Fulci spectrum itβs awfully hard to argue about his immense and ever-lasting output. Stanley Kubrik only directed 13 films. But Fulci? He directed 61.
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Once a film franchise crosses over in to four, five, or six sequels, or god forbid a complete reboot, it deserves lampooning and a heaping dose of criticism. That many sequels is often a reflection of the imagination tank run completely dry. Take your original story/villain and wash, rinse, and repeat.
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Umm what just happened? Was that a dream? Did I just have a stroke? Did my ego and id simultaneously implode? Unclear on all fronts. One thing is certain. This is a film like no other and itβs not something you can ever unsee.
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Everyone gets old. Itβs no more complicated than this little horrifying truism. The world of horror is filled with ghosts, homicidal nutcases, Pazzuzu, creepies, crawlies, and robot-monsters. But, nothing, repeat, nothing, is more frightening at the prospect of losing your mental and physical faculties and facing the sad and potential finite end of life.
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Crack open the dusty dictionary parked over on your bookshelf and look up staid British horror film. Weβll wait. Whatβs it say? 1976βs Satanβs Slave? Yep, thatβs what we thought.
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Gone are the days of Bub from Day of the Dead. Gone are the days of the zombie nurse, the fat guy, and the Hare Krishna from Dawn of the Dead. Gone are the half-dogs and headless zombies from Return of the Living Dead. Most importantly, gone is a fun but serious dissection of societal woes and manβs modern day pitfalls. IInstead weβre now being fed a pile of ghastly super-hero zombies, that shriek like space aliens, set inside a hyper-realized video game construct. Itβs a sad state of affairs to be sure. One might even say that the zombie genre has jumped the shark, or in this case the albino zombie tiger.
Oh, Hollywood and your ever-clever marketing minions. You really had us at "...contemporary take on the classic horror film Rosemaryβs Baby." That just makes our hardened horror heart go pitter-patter.
Giallo and Texas Chainsaw mashed up? Uh, yes, please. We'd love to see that! Well, now you can! Those horror geniuses over at Netflix have officially dropped the official trailer for 2021's A Classic Horror Story.
In light of all the insurrectionist lunacy that we faced in early 2021, it's an incredible stroke of kismet that the horror gods would be throwing us the Forever Purge in the very same year. But they are.
The almighty George Romero has a new movie coming out in June 2021! Wait, hasn't he been dead since 2017!?!? Indeed he has, but that doesn't mean that he didn't create a mountain of content never before seen by human eyes. In the same way that Prince will be releasing albums well in to the next century, Romero may have some additional gems that have never made their way out of the crypt. Until now!
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Serious question. Are horror movies required to be scary? Can they just pass off a sense of dread and doom in other less frightening but equally provocative ways? Answer: it sure makes horror more horrifying if thereβs some actual horror in the horror film.
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The horror anthology is one of the true staples of the horror genre. Always clever, always engaging. As weβve said before, anthology horror is the traditional extension of gathering around ye' ole campfire and scaring the hell out of each other. They hearken back to the oldest root forms of scary storytelling. Itβs always frightening to hear a scary story, until itβs not.
Holy Beelzebub! The official/official trailer for The Conjuring III, AKA The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do it, is finally here! Complete with devils, god, witches, the Warrens, and waterbeds β which were a thing in 1981, trust us β this trailer has it all.
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Pulling the perfect Lovecraftian film is a feat like no other. Itβs been tried again and again. You might even say film makers repeated attempts to crawl inside Mr. Lovecraftβs tortured brain is rife with peril, failure, and madness. Or more to the point, itβs a cursed mission. Many have attempted to bring Lovecraft to the silver screen and most have failed. In the case, of 2021βs Offseason, itβs not so much a failure, but a dull attempt.
This Easter π°π°π° you haven't a hop in hell! Because...here comes Peter Cottonhell! If those aren't two of the most hackneyed and shoe-horned taglines we don't know what are. Because Beaster Day is real, it's coming for you, and we've digested more crappy films that anyone should!
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The rise of the podcast generation paired with a nationβs emerging fascination with rampant conspiracy theories is the perfect backdrop for a horrifying and mercurial folk tale. In both the case of podcasts and conspiracies people donβt stop until theyβve reached the ever-loving bottom of the barrel. The problem is these barrels have no bottoms.
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Donβt. Turn. This. Movie. Off. Seriously, itβs a slow burn in grand tradition of slow burn horror films, but the payoff off is so deliciously evil and filling. If you stop after the aspic and the salad course youβll miss a rather grisly desert.
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Right around the corner from Horror Street, just next to Parallax View Way, and right near Marathon Man Drive, is a fascinating analog look at the lengths obsessives will go to in feeding their obsessions.






























