★★★ out of ★★★★★ Young women. Adventurous young women. Genetically perfect adventurous young women. Impossibly tight spaces. Blind killing creatures who’ve not seen the light of day for millennia. It’s the Descent for the tween generation! Plus, did we mention the forever hunky John Corbett?
Tag Archive for ‘horror movie’
Mike’s Review: Dr. Sleep (2019)
★★★.5 out of ★★★★★
Nearly 1,000 pages of creepy thoughts, actions, and psychic happenings were laid out between the Shining and its murderous offspring, Dr. Sleep. It seemed impossible that 1) the Shining would be made in to a film, 2) that Stephen King would be so dissatisfied in one of the true horror greats, 3) that it would deserve a remake, 4) the story would evolve in to a 500 page psychedelic mishmash, and 5) that mishmash would be made in to its own celluloid opus. Seem fantastical? Well it is.
Mike’s Review: Three from Hell (2019)
★★ out of ★★★★★ At Rob Zombie’s darkened dirtbag core is a full and unfiltered embrace of the age-old adage “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Slow motion. Hyperbolic acting (or in some cases no acting). Closeups so close you can count individual pores Captain Spaulding’s grease-paint soaked forehead. Weirdly rare and off-putting selection of non-Joe Walsh James Gang tracks. If you’ve seen House of a Thousand Corpses and Devil’s Rejects then you’ve been thoroughly exposed to Mr. Zombie’s cinema trickery.
Mike’s Review: Bliss (2019)
🤟🤟out of 🤟🤟🤟🤟🤟
Are you a fan of a) Metal, b) vaguely satanic possessions, c) explicit drug usage, d) nudity, e) lots of blood (read: LOTS), and f) the word FUCK? I mean, sure who isn’t in favor of all these things right? Each has lots to offer. They’re interesting. Taken in small doses they can be a very powerful antidote to a lagging cinematic undertaking. When taken in over-dose-like proportions the gore and bad words take on an underwhelming status.
Trailer Alert: Color Out Of Space (2020)
The most fully realized film version of an HP Lovecraft story? More psychedelic freakouts from Nick Cage? The return of more Mandy-like weirdness? A real live Cthulu monster? Director Richard Stanley’s (Island of Dr. Moreau, Hardware, Dust Devil) return to greatness? SO. MANY. QUESTIONS!
Movie Posters We Love: Top 10 Horror Posters from 2019
Once again Hollyweird cranked up the almighty money-making hype machine and got to work on some very fine artistry. While it’s got to be more and more difficult for graphic designers to cram all of the fear, fright, and gore on to an iPhone screen, designers have not yet thrown in the towel!
Trailer Alert: Antebellum (2020)
US + Get Out + Lost + the Shining + the Others + The Grudge + butterflies + Janelle Monae = possible (?) greatness! Antebellum is one of the hot new things coming out in 2020 and we here at the Scariest Things Podcast are INTRIGUED.
Mike’s Review: Eli (2019)
★★ out of ★★★★★ Hey Netflix, we see you over there! Yeah, you. Trying your darnedest to jump on that horror bandwagon, peer in to the abyss, produce that oh-so-perfect horror film, and reap the ghoulish accolades of horror fans everywhere. Just so you know, it’s not working. While 2019’s Eli is awfully close to being a solid film you still have a lot of work to do to make in the fast-paced world of horror.
Mike’s Review: Girl on the Third Floor (2019)
★★.5 out of ★★★★★ As we’ve all come to learn in the horror game, a haunted house, no matter how haunted, does not a movie make. For that matter, a bunch of spooky trappings within a haunted house, also does not a movie make.
Trailer Alert: Little Monsters (2019)
ZOMBIE ALERT: Two decidedly different performances (well three, technically) from the same actor in two horror films in the same year? Say it ain’t so!
Mike’s Review: Midsommar (2019)
🌸🌸🌸 out of 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸 This is the true story, of nine strangers, picked to participate in weirdo cult hapennings, work together, and have their lives destroyed. Find out what happens, when people stop being polite, and start getting real…its a world of real cults!
Mike’s Review: Annabelle Comes Home (2019)
★★ out of ★★★★★
Now with 30 percent less jump scares!
Horror Movie News: The Banana Splits Movie gets a trailer and an R rating
Horror is a big, broad, wide, deep and inviting genre. Everybody is welcome to hang out, have some chips, try […]
Horror Movie News: Another Black Christmas Remake
We’ll just park this over here in the What the What!?!?!? category. Apparently, and justifiably, unsatisfied with the 2006 remake […]
Eric’s Review: Nightmare Cinema (2019)
★★★1/2 Out of ★★★★★
Nightmare Cinema is an anthology horror feature, with some of the biggest names in the genre directing a series of grisly short films, and uses an abandoned cinema as the connecting thread. As with most anthologies, it’s a bit of a mixed bag in quality and style.
Mike’s Review: Mercy Black (2019)
★★★.5 out of ★★★★★
Say it ain’t so! A real life ghost story that just might be about real life GHOSTS! Not only is this a solid little flick with a gaggle of ghostly misdirection, it’s also a film that features THE Janeane Garofalo. Sadly, while Ms. Garofalo isn’t in the film too much, her absence is made up by lots and lots of strange and ghoulish apparitions — or not.
Mike’s Review: Demons 2 (1986)
👿👿👿 out of 👿👿👿👿👿
This film doesn’t make a damn bit of sense, but that doesn’t necessarily make it a bad film. Au contraire.
Mike’s Review: The Silence (2019)
🦇 out of 🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇
Just because you thought A Quiet Place was cool doesn’t mean it needs to be remade six months later.
Mike’s Review: Lizzie (2018)
★★★ out of ★★★★★
Andrew Borden : You’re an abomination, Lizzie.
Lizzie Borden : And at last, we are on equal footing, father.
Mike’s Review: Winchester (2018)
👻👻 out of 👻👻👻👻👻
A spook show with too many spooks?
Mike’s Review: 31 — A Rob Zombie Film (2016)
★ out of ★★★★★
If you went to Sunset Strip and asked a hip-looking millennial what elements exemplified the grindhouse cinema era, what do you think the response would be? Confused? Indifferent? Bored? Titillated? Or do you think they’d start to rattle off a listed of oft-used Rob Zombie tropes and tripe?
Mike’s Review: Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
★★★.5 out of ★★★★★
You’ve seen the VHS tape. You’ve seen the poster. Hell, you’ve probably even seen the trailer for this 1980s slice of brilliance, BUT have you actually seen the movie?
Mike’s Review: Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror (2019)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
We’ve always loved horror, it’s just that horror hasn’t always loved us.
Mike’s Review: Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)
The art world is a tough nut to crack. The politics, the sexuality, the fortunes, the fame, the critics, the notoriety, the legacy — oh, yeah, and we almost forgot, the art. Art is often a vessel for missing elements in society, wanting, longing, and a respite from the day to day hum/drum attributes of life. Art can subjugate the mundane and keep our darker and more horrifying desires at bay. That is, when art is obeyed and respected. When it’s not…watch out.
Horror Movie News: Fuck You Immortality Trailer Release
We’ll just park this little 54 second trailer right on over here in the “huh” category. The Scariest Things Podcast challenges you to find a weirder, more off-putting, and more kick-ass fun trailer. Just try it. You won’t succeed. We promise you.
Mike’s Review: The Green Slime (1968)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
Yes. It’s true. Some films are so awesomely bad that they’ve come full circle and are just plain awesomely awesome. And that’s the truth. One such film is the truly underrated and much ridiculed, 1968’s, the Green Slime. I mean the name kind of says it all.
Horror Movie News: Lords of Chaos Trailer
Well this certainly looks interesting! Much like horror with all of its weird and appurtenant sub-genres, heavy metal, has got […]
Mike’s Review: You Might be the Killer (2018)
★★★ out of ★★★★★
If something is around long enough it’s going to be parodied. There will be barbs, jabs, satire and plenty of loving imitation. Even the tropes and trends that surround a specific genre will get reworked, turned inside out, and devotedly re-re-re-imagined.
Mike’s Review: The Witch in the Window (2018)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
Many have characterized this film as “Hallmark Horror.” Which is, of course, lazy short hand for the fact that the film has an emotional component and it manages to draw the audience in to a deep and meaningful concern for the main protagonists. Mind you this is not “This is Us” or some other network pablum, but a legitimate exploration of a father/son relationship in the throws of pre-teen puberty — set against HORROR, glorious horror.
Horror Movie News: Velvet Buzzsaw Coming Soon
When good art goes bad? When bad artists attack good artists? When good artists attack bad critics? Who knows? All […]