★★1/2 out of ★★★★★ A super stylish and exceptionally well-scored film that’s partially in Danish and partially in English and…wait for it…features a character who’s half Danish and half American.
Tag Archive for ‘horror movies’
Dead List: Top 10 Horror Soundtracks of All Time
Can music make a film? Break a film? Raise the hairs on the back of your head? Make you curl up in a ball and weep? You bet your bottom dollar! Open you ears and tune in to the ten most evil soundtracks your little ears ever did hear!
Mike’s Review: Spiral (2020)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★ Horror movies really are the ultimate glimpse in to the soul of man. Society’s reflection upon itself. Our most base thoughts, visions, hopes, dreams, and fears all laid bare for the universe to see. The historic period of time is largely irrelevant to the equation, because the result is always the same — man’s continued inhumanity to man.
Mike’s Review: Beyond the Woods (2018)
★★★.5 out of ★★★★★ Not all horror films need to be over-wrought. They needn’t be filled with hyper-complex multi-layered lore. CGI has its time and place, but that time in place is not in every time and every place. On occasion horror is able to lean simply on human emotions, quaint spaces, and languid settings. If you need a reprieve from the hustle and bustle of 21st century horror then Beyond the Woods is waiting for you…just beyond the woods.
The Scariest Things Podcast Episode CVI: Abduction Horror!
Imagine that one day, you’re just standing around, minding your own business and then ZOOP! You’ve been captured! Whisked away to a strange dungeon, and then tortured, and experimented on and… well it’s not pretty, and for many, this a fate worse than death. The Scariest Things Crew explores this trope and has managed to drum up some real sleepers that might be new to you!
Dead List: Top 10 Animal Horror Films
Thumper, Ben, Lassie, Willard, Cujo…my pet gator? Why have you chosen to forsake me? In Episode 16 we explored this very question and got down and dirty in the animal kingdom. These are some of the scariest pets and animals to have ever graced the silver screen and boy have they gone bad! They PRETEND to be man’s best friend but ultimately they’ve got other things in store for us weak and inferior humans. Before you race out to the pet store watch the ten scariest films ever made featuring animals!
Mike’s PHFF Review: Uncle Peckerhead (2020)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★ Pulling off a feature length film takes some serious gumption. Pulling off a film that balances impeccable comedic timing, a fully realized soundtrack, empathetic characters, complicated friendships, and a heaping dose of spatter gore — well, that’s a whole different story. Directed by horror short filmmaker Matthew John Lawrence, Uncle Peckerhead hits every single note and simultaneously manages to bang out a gory film that would make Herschell Gordon Lewis blush.
The Scariest Things Podcast Episode XCV: Holy Horror!
As we exit Easter and enter Ramadan, it’s a good time to explore the relationship between horror movies and religion. Whether you like your horror featuring sweaty preachers or ancient prophecies, we scour the archives for some great holy horror nuggets for you!
Horror News: The Isolation Horrors (2020)
Have you had enough yet? Did you lose out on the last role of toilet paper? Are you debating the merits of the Exorcist vs. Exorcist III with your cat? Has the isolation started to creep under your skin and in to your psyche? Good! You’re in luck. There’s a new short horror anthology that looks at the dark and horrific side of ISOLATION!
Mike’s Review: Lake Mungo (2008)
★★★★★ out of ★★★★★ There exists this exquisite location somewhere right between a documentary, a dramatization, found footage, a fictionalized accounting of events, and a full on horror show. This venn diagram of a locale is a rather tough place to pinpoint and few films ever wandered there. That was of course until 2008 when Lake Mungo was released.
Movie Posters We Love: The BEST Pandemic Horror Movie Posters
You’ll scream, screech, gasp, cough wheeze, and, well…hopefully it’s just a common cold and it’ll be done in a couple days. One of the best ways to determine whether it is a common cold? Check the current CDC guidelines and consult with your local health department.
After you’ve done the requisite diagnosis, grabbed some vitamin C, and little DayQuil — THEN check out this gallery of the weirdest, wildest, wackiest and just plain BEST pandemic horror posters ever created!
These posters are infected so wash your hands after you’ve touched this gang of impurity!
Mike’s Review: Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)
★★ out of ★★★★★ Sometimes less really is more. And sometimes way less is really way more. Eschewing all prior entries in Paranormal Activity franchise, and more importantly questioning the simple aesthetic of the found footage horror sub-genre. Enter Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension. For those of you keeping track at home — and sadly, at this point, you really need to keep track to follow this franchise — this is number six.
Mike’s Review: Dr. Sleep (2019)
★★★.5 out of ★★★★★
Nearly 1,000 pages of creepy thoughts, actions, and psychic happenings were laid out between the Shining and its murderous offspring, Dr. Sleep. It seemed impossible that 1) the Shining would be made in to a film, 2) that Stephen King would be so dissatisfied in one of the true horror greats, 3) that it would deserve a remake, 4) the story would evolve in to a 500 page psychedelic mishmash, and 5) that mishmash would be made in to its own celluloid opus. Seem fantastical? Well it is.
Eric’s Review: Harpoon (2019)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
It’s all fun and games until you have to draw straws to determine who becomes the sacrifice in a lifeboat dilemma. Harpoon is a savage look at a love triangle gone completely haywire and lost at sea.
Mike’s Review: Three from Hell (2019)
★★ out of ★★★★★ At Rob Zombie’s darkened dirtbag core is a full and unfiltered embrace of the age-old adage “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Slow motion. Hyperbolic acting (or in some cases no acting). Closeups so close you can count individual pores Captain Spaulding’s grease-paint soaked forehead. Weirdly rare and off-putting selection of non-Joe Walsh James Gang tracks. If you’ve seen House of a Thousand Corpses and Devil’s Rejects then you’ve been thoroughly exposed to Mr. Zombie’s cinema trickery.
Mike’s Review: Mausoleum (1983)
★★1/2 out of ★★★★★ 1983 just called. Your VHS tape is overdue!
Mike’s Review: The Marshes (2020)
★★1/2 out of ★★★★★ Word has it that the kids are in to mash-ups. Girl Talk, Danger Mouse, a little Jay Z, a little Beatles. Throw it all together and see what sticks. 2020’s the Marsh (originally released in 2018 in Australia) does just that — but maybe a little too much.
Mike’s Review: Eli (2019)
★★ out of ★★★★★ Hey Netflix, we see you over there! Yeah, you. Trying your darnedest to jump on that horror bandwagon, peer in to the abyss, produce that oh-so-perfect horror film, and reap the ghoulish accolades of horror fans everywhere. Just so you know, it’s not working. While 2019’s Eli is awfully close to being a solid film you still have a lot of work to do to make in the fast-paced world of horror.
Mike’s Review: Girl on the Third Floor (2019)
★★.5 out of ★★★★★ As we’ve all come to learn in the horror game, a haunted house, no matter how haunted, does not a movie make. For that matter, a bunch of spooky trappings within a haunted house, also does not a movie make.
Mike’s Review: Martin (1978)
★★★★ 1/2 out of ★★★★★ Vampires have been around for a long time (read: possibly forever?) and their story has been told in a weirdly limitless number of ways. Sexy vampires. Gory vampires. Child vampires. Deaf vampires. Suffice it to say, the votes are in and humanity LOVES its vampires!
Mike’s Review: Wolf Creek (2005)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
The joy of youth. The post-college road trip. Finding your way in vast spaces. Unconstrained, unconfined, uncontrolled. The world is your oyster, until it isn’t.
Mike’s Review: House on Sorority Row (1983)
★★.5 out of ★★★★★ College isn’t for everyone. There’s peer pressure, there’s social acclimatization, there’s the freshman 15, there’s the daily grind of keeping one’s grades in check to maintain that almighty scholarship, and then there’s the relationships. The social bond that’s created can be a lasting and spiritually satisfying affinity, but the bond can go so deep that it’ll eventually turn collegiate relations sour and crazy.
Mike’s Review: Friday the 13th Part VIII (1989)
★★.5 out of ★★★★★ Is this really too good to be true? Too bad to be believed? So ridiculous we all laugh with it? Or so horrible we curl up in a cringe-worthy ball of shame? Answer: All of ‘em.
Mike’s Review: Vast of Night (2019)
👽👽👽👽 out of 👽👽👽👽👽
UFOs are real! Well, they might be real. Or, they’re probably imagined. Rather, we’re all crazy and we’re collectively imagining them. Or, maybe, just maybe, they really are real and the space aliens are making us crazy in an attempt to make us believe/not believe that they’re real/not real. All are real possibilities and 2019’s The Vast of the Night lays all of them on the table for us to sort out.
Horror Movie News: The Banana Splits Movie gets a trailer and an R rating
Horror is a big, broad, wide, deep and inviting genre. Everybody is welcome to hang out, have some chips, try […]
Mike’s Review: Annabelle (2014)
★★★ out of ★★★★★ Yes. Dolls are creepy. You know this. We know this. They just have a creep factor […]
Scariest Things Podcast Wizard World Video Recap!
Hey! Did we meet you at this year’s Wizard World in Portland, Oregon? Yes? Well, then good to see you again. If we didn’t meet you at Wizard World you can still check out the fun, fearsome, and freaky times that were had by all in this short video recap by the hyper-talented Matt Howl!
Horror Shorts: Treevenge (2008)
🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲 out of 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
Ah…the holidays. Yes. Those holidays. The Christmas-y ones. The holidays that fill you full of joy, happiness, togetherness, peace, family…frustration, long lines, anger, resentment, hatred, and, AND, AND….CHRISTMAS TREES! The bane of the past, present, and the future. Commercialism mixed with a toxic cocktail of entitlement, greed, waste, and environmental cynicism and acrimony. Just a plain ol’ dislike for mother earth.
Mike’s Review: The Silence (2019)
🦇 out of 🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇
Just because you thought A Quiet Place was cool doesn’t mean it needs to be remade six months later.
Horror Movie News: The Silence on Netflix
Who knew there was a sub-genre of horror now being referred to as sensory horror. At some point there’s enough […]