★★ out of ★★★★★ Hey Netflix, we see you over there! Yeah, you. Trying your darnedest to jump on that horror bandwagon, peer in to the abyss, produce that oh-so-perfect horror film, and reap the ghoulish accolades of horror fans everywhere. Just so you know, it’s not working. While 2019’s Eli is awfully close to being a solid film you still have a lot of work to do to make in the fast-paced world of horror.
Tag Archive for ‘horror movies’
Mike’s Review: Girl on the Third Floor (2019)
★★.5 out of ★★★★★ As we’ve all come to learn in the horror game, a haunted house, no matter how haunted, does not a movie make. For that matter, a bunch of spooky trappings within a haunted house, also does not a movie make.
Mike’s Review: Martin (1978)
★★★★ 1/2 out of ★★★★★ Vampires have been around for a long time (read: possibly forever?) and their story has been told in a weirdly limitless number of ways. Sexy vampires. Gory vampires. Child vampires. Deaf vampires. Suffice it to say, the votes are in and humanity LOVES its vampires!
Mike’s Review: Wolf Creek (2005)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
The joy of youth. The post-college road trip. Finding your way in vast spaces. Unconstrained, unconfined, uncontrolled. The world is your oyster, until it isn’t.
Mike’s Review: House on Sorority Row (1983)
★★.5 out of ★★★★★ College isn’t for everyone. There’s peer pressure, there’s social acclimatization, there’s the freshman 15, there’s the daily grind of keeping one’s grades in check to maintain that almighty scholarship, and then there’s the relationships. The social bond that’s created can be a lasting and spiritually satisfying affinity, but the bond can go so deep that it’ll eventually turn collegiate relations sour and crazy.
Mike’s Review: Friday the 13th Part VIII (1989)
★★.5 out of ★★★★★ Is this really too good to be true? Too bad to be believed? So ridiculous we all laugh with it? Or so horrible we curl up in a cringe-worthy ball of shame? Answer: All of ‘em.
Mike’s Review: Vast of Night (2019)
👽👽👽👽 out of 👽👽👽👽👽
UFOs are real! Well, they might be real. Or, they’re probably imagined. Rather, we’re all crazy and we’re collectively imagining them. Or, maybe, just maybe, they really are real and the space aliens are making us crazy in an attempt to make us believe/not believe that they’re real/not real. All are real possibilities and 2019’s The Vast of the Night lays all of them on the table for us to sort out.
Horror Movie News: The Banana Splits Movie gets a trailer and an R rating
Horror is a big, broad, wide, deep and inviting genre. Everybody is welcome to hang out, have some chips, try […]
Mike’s Review: Annabelle (2014)
★★★ out of ★★★★★ Yes. Dolls are creepy. You know this. We know this. They just have a creep factor […]
Scariest Things Podcast Wizard World Video Recap!
Hey! Did we meet you at this year’s Wizard World in Portland, Oregon? Yes? Well, then good to see you again. If we didn’t meet you at Wizard World you can still check out the fun, fearsome, and freaky times that were had by all in this short video recap by the hyper-talented Matt Howl!
Horror Shorts: Treevenge (2008)
🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲 out of 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
Ah…the holidays. Yes. Those holidays. The Christmas-y ones. The holidays that fill you full of joy, happiness, togetherness, peace, family…frustration, long lines, anger, resentment, hatred, and, AND, AND….CHRISTMAS TREES! The bane of the past, present, and the future. Commercialism mixed with a toxic cocktail of entitlement, greed, waste, and environmental cynicism and acrimony. Just a plain ol’ dislike for mother earth.
Mike’s Review: The Silence (2019)
🦇 out of 🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇
Just because you thought A Quiet Place was cool doesn’t mean it needs to be remade six months later.
Horror Movie News: The Silence on Netflix
Who knew there was a sub-genre of horror now being referred to as sensory horror. At some point there’s enough […]
Movie Posters We Love: A Virgin Among the Living Dead (1973)
Whoa boy! A lot to unpack here. This Spanish-French erotic horror thriller (cuz’ there’s nothing more erotic than horror) was […]
Mike’s Review: 31 — A Rob Zombie Film (2016)
★ out of ★★★★★
If you went to Sunset Strip and asked a hip-looking millennial what elements exemplified the grindhouse cinema era, what do you think the response would be? Confused? Indifferent? Bored? Titillated? Or do you think they’d start to rattle off a listed of oft-used Rob Zombie tropes and tripe?
Movie Posters We Love: Le Crane Malifique (1965)
Peter Cushing! Christopher Lee! Oh my! This one’s got it all. Most importantly it’s got two of the giants of 1960s horror. The boys had a corner on the market for sure.
Mike’s Review: Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror (2019)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
We’ve always loved horror, it’s just that horror hasn’t always loved us.
Horror Movie News: Fuck You Immortality Trailer Release
We’ll just park this little 54 second trailer right on over here in the “huh” category. The Scariest Things Podcast challenges you to find a weirder, more off-putting, and more kick-ass fun trailer. Just try it. You won’t succeed. We promise you.
Horror Movie News: THE Wu Tang Clan are Making a Horror Movie
Ya’ heard that right. Word on the gritty streets of Staten Island is that the rap super-group, THE Wu Tang […]
Mike’s Review: The Green Slime (1968)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
Yes. It’s true. Some films are so awesomely bad that they’ve come full circle and are just plain awesomely awesome. And that’s the truth. One such film is the truly underrated and much ridiculed, 1968’s, the Green Slime. I mean the name kind of says it all.
Horror Movie News: Things Are Happening in the Dario Argento Universe
Recently, THE Dario Argento (Four Flies on Grey Velvet, Profondo Rosso, Suspiria, and the list goes on…) took part in […]
Horror Movie News: The Exorcism of Karen Walker Trailer
Do you like 1970s horror? Exorcisms? Hammer films? Of course you do! Just got word of a new flick that […]
The Scariest Things Podcast Episode L: A One Year Retrospective
One year in the books, and it’s time to reflect upon our experience as Podcasters and Writers!
Mike’s Review: Slenderman (2018)
★.5 out of ★★★★★
There are those films that need no exposition, and there are those that need a-plenty. The 2018 pre-teen fright fest, Slenderman, is a film that requires ample elucidation. Unfortunately, it contains little to none (read: none). While Slenderman does have some partially admirable elements, it also contains a bag-o’-problems.
Horror Movie News: Golem Trailer
Well you knew it was a matter of time before Hollywood ran out of ideas. Or, maybe, just maybe, it’s […]
Mike’s Review: Puppet Master (1989)
★★★ out of ★★★★★ Written by Charles Band and directed by David Schmoeller There’s some things in life that you […]
Horror Movie News: Horror Noire Coming Soon to Shudder
It’s never too late to get a Shudder subscription. Trust us, it’s worth it. To wit, Shudder’s announced a brand […]
Mike’s Review: Leatherface (2017)
★★.5 out of ★★★★★ In 2015, when Leatherface principal filming began, something must have been amiss in the cosmos. There […]
Horror Movie News: Amityville Murders Trailer Released
Like it or not, it’s coming your way. On February 8, 2019, the seemingly bottomless well known as the Amityville […]
Mike’s Review: The First Purge (2018)
★★★ 1/2 out of ★★★★★ It’s almost difficult to characterize this film as fiction. There’s too many ghastly and prescient […]