★★ out of ★★★★★ The tweens are taking over! Hollyweird has handed over the castle keys to a gaggle of focused-grouped 13-year olds. Scary films are now purposely trying to not be scary. All is lost.
Archive for ‘Reviews’
Joseph’s Review: The Other Lamb
★★★1/2 out of ★★★★★ Striking visuals and strong lead performances highlight this slow-burning feminist parable that is punctuated by sudden […]
Mike’s Review: Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)
★★ out of ★★★★★ Sometimes less really is more. And sometimes way less is really way more. Eschewing all prior entries in Paranormal Activity franchise, and more importantly questioning the simple aesthetic of the found footage horror sub-genre. Enter Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension. For those of you keeping track at home — and sadly, at this point, you really need to keep track to follow this franchise — this is number six.
Robert’s Review: Mass Hysteria (2019)
★★1/2 out of ★★★★★
While it’s more comedy than horror, this splattery witch-based tale is an entertaining cat & mouse chase around Salem, Massachusetts.
Mike’s Review: 47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019)
★★★ out of ★★★★★ Young women. Adventurous young women. Genetically perfect adventurous young women. Impossibly tight spaces. Blind killing creatures who’ve not seen the light of day for millennia. It’s the Descent for the tween generation! Plus, did we mention the forever hunky John Corbett?
Joseph’s Review: Cursed Films
★★★★ out of ★★★★★ Shudder’s Cursed Film series takes an entertaining, even-keeled, engaging, and often emotional look at why some […]
Robert’s Review: The Grudge (2020)
★★★ out of ★★★★★
It’s a remake? It’s a reboot? It’s a… sidequel! And we’ve got jump scares aplenty in the most recent addition to Grudge lore.
Joseph’s Review: Butt Boy (Arrow Video FrightFest Glasgow Film Festival)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★ If you are in the mood for a mind-blowing cinematic experience, look no further than the […]
Robert’s Review: The Night They Knocked (2020)
★★1/2 out of ★★★★★
Don’tcha hate it when a gang of crazies interrupts your relaxing weekend at a remote cabin with an unexpected home invasion?
Joseph’s Review: Exit 0
★★★1/2 out of ★★★★★ An oblique mystery thriller with supernatural horror elements, Exit 0 boasts strong performances and plenty of […]
Joseph’s Review: Disappearance at Clifton Hill
★★★★ out of ★★★★★ Disappearance at Clifton Hill is a horror-adjacent mystery thriller that should please viewers who have a […]
Robert’s Review: Snatchers (2019)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
A mildly raunchy, splattertastic, alien invasion creature feature with a Mean Girls twist crossed with a teen pregnancy after school special? Yes, please!
Liz’s Review: The Invisible Man (2020)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
What you can’t see can kill you in this terrifying and timely update of Universal Pictures’ The Invisible Man.
Joseph’s Review: Blood on Her Name
★★★★1/2 out of ★★★★★ A woman follows her conscience after a murder and winds up making her life an absolute […]
Mike’s Review: Dr. Sleep (2019)
★★★.5 out of ★★★★★
Nearly 1,000 pages of creepy thoughts, actions, and psychic happenings were laid out between the Shining and its murderous offspring, Dr. Sleep. It seemed impossible that 1) the Shining would be made in to a film, 2) that Stephen King would be so dissatisfied in one of the true horror greats, 3) that it would deserve a remake, 4) the story would evolve in to a 500 page psychedelic mishmash, and 5) that mishmash would be made in to its own celluloid opus. Seem fantastical? Well it is.
Eric’s Review: Harpoon (2019)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
It’s all fun and games until you have to draw straws to determine who becomes the sacrifice in a lifeboat dilemma. Harpoon is a savage look at a love triangle gone completely haywire and lost at sea.
Mike’s Review: Three from Hell (2019)
★★ out of ★★★★★ At Rob Zombie’s darkened dirtbag core is a full and unfiltered embrace of the age-old adage “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Slow motion. Hyperbolic acting (or in some cases no acting). Closeups so close you can count individual pores Captain Spaulding’s grease-paint soaked forehead. Weirdly rare and off-putting selection of non-Joe Walsh James Gang tracks. If you’ve seen House of a Thousand Corpses and Devil’s Rejects then you’ve been thoroughly exposed to Mr. Zombie’s cinema trickery.
Joseph’s Reviews (Horror-on-Sea Film Festival): Big Man, Bleed, Idle Hands, The Last Reel, This Mourning
Horror-on-Sea Film Festival offered up a treasure trove of incredible fright-fare shorts. In this second installment of short-film reviews from […]
Eric’s Review: The Lighthouse (2019)
★★★★1/2 out of ★★★★★
Isolation, misery, toil, secrets, and madness. Just another day for Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe in the Robert Eggers brilliantly bleak seascape The Lighthouse.
Joseph’s Review: Swallow (Final Girls Berlin Film Fest)
★★★★1/2 out of ★★★★★ A Stepford Wife in training begins swallowing dangerous objects — and that’s only the start of […]
Mike’s Review: Bliss (2019)
🤟🤟out of 🤟🤟🤟🤟🤟
Are you a fan of a) Metal, b) vaguely satanic possessions, c) explicit drug usage, d) nudity, e) lots of blood (read: LOTS), and f) the word FUCK? I mean, sure who isn’t in favor of all these things right? Each has lots to offer. They’re interesting. Taken in small doses they can be a very powerful antidote to a lagging cinematic undertaking. When taken in over-dose-like proportions the gore and bad words take on an underwhelming status.
Robert’s Review: There Are Monsters (2013)
★★ out of ★★★★★
Have a great idea for a horror movie? Here’s a perfect example of how to make your great idea almost completely unwatchable!
Joseph’s Reviews (Horror-on-Sea Film Festival): Horror Shorts — Noctámbulos (Night Owls), No Strings, One Touch, Tolerance
Horror-on-Sea Film Festival offered up a treasure trove of incredible horror shorts. Here are reviews about four of them, featuring […]
Eric’s Review: VFW (2020)
★★★ out of ★★★★★
Chalk one up for the old dudes! Drugged out mutant crazies siege the local veteran’s watering hole in the latest offering from FANGORIA, featuring some fan-favorite genre actors getting a chance to step out of the supporting role shadows.
Joseph’s Reviews (Another Hole in the Head Film Fest): Horror Shorts — Patina, Playtime’s Over, and Zombie Debt
An intimidating humanoid robot, a preteen horror movie fan bent on terrorizing her babysitter, and a woman pursued by a debt collector during a zombie apocalypse were the subjects of three fantastic short films that recently screened at Another Hole in the Head Film Fest in San Francisco.
Robert’s Review: Eat Locals (2017)
★★★ out of ★★★★★
Filmed entirely in Hertfordshire, England, this charming vampire flick starts slowly, but saves itself with an action-filled second act and a thoroughly satisfying ending.
Mike’s Review: The Color Out of Space (2020)
★★★ out of ★★★★★
Is the ultimate test of a director the ability to grow, mature, and evolve? Pick up new tricks, devices, and viewpoints? Create new and unique takes on the film medium? OR, is it the director’s job to figure out what formula works, stick with that, and never grow, mature, and evolve. Sort of a “greatest hits” approach to filmmaking.
Liz’s review: The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
A found footage style film that for years was found footage itself. Dip your toe into the water under a bridge too far and watch The Poughkeepsie Tapes.
Robert’s Review: Jack Frost (1997)
★★★ out of ★★★★★
It’s a holiday classic! This very B-grade movie overcame studio bankruptcy, anomalous weather, and the fact that it’s about a goofy-looking 7-foot tall rubber snowman to achieve cult status as a direct-to-video release.
Mike’s Review: Mausoleum (1983)
★★1/2 out of ★★★★★ 1983 just called. Your VHS tape is overdue!