★★.5 out of ★★★★★
🩸🩸out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸
Directed by Kurt Wimmer.
We know them. We love them. They’re little rapscallions, religious zealots, and outcasts. But that’s why we love them! That said, the question is not whether we love them, but rather do we need to go back to the exact same Children of the Corn story 11 times. Really, it’s been 11 times and we’re not even counting the TV series.
Stephen King’s now well-known tale of religious corn freaks was originally published in Penthouse Magazine in 1977. You’d think burying the story in a tawdry porno mag would have guaranteed its demise, but quite the opposite happened.
In 2020, RLJE films and producer Lucas Foster announced that (apparently) the first 10 versions of the film were unsatisfactory and they’d be taking a cut a the story. Difference is, it has nothing to do with King’s story or the 1984 original film, but it does have a CORN MONSTER! Yes, a corn monster whose name is “He Who Walks.” Honestly, I would have preferred “King Corn”, or “Corny”, or “Corngantuan” or even “Huskzilla”, but will just have to live with “He Who Walks.”
The other main difference is the stalwart villains, Malachai and Isaac, have been replaced by a precocious young girl, Eden (Kate Moyer), who proclaims herself to be the Red Queen. While Eden does discuss the connection to Alice In Wonderland, it’s only a passing mention and it’s a plot device that’s never really fleshed out or further explored.
The story has a couple interesting kernels (…sorry, had to do that) that if fully heated would definitely pop. But much in the same way that 2022’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre chops at many societal woes, so does Children of the Corn. There’s dribbles of rural isolation, the frustrations of the family farm, big agribusiness, promised wealth and riches for the farmers, GMOs, pivoting to more profitable crops like Marijuana, etc. Sadly, even with a fairly reasonable run time the film never chooses to explore any of these topics.
Interestingly, the other peculiar difference is that the corn-based religious zealotry doesn’t appear to be (entirely) born of the supernatural. The ever-smarmy Eden has a different motivation for hassling adults. While it is somewhat plausible, it doesn’t entirely explain the other children and their undying need to slavishly follow Eden. Where Malachai and Isaac were terrifying corn freaks, Eden is more of a boorish tween with a penchant for sass.
Because Children of the Corn was produced through RJLE films, the production is planted in some sturdy ground. Wonderful practical effects, decent casting, and a CGI’d corn monster! The film is an earnest cut at one of King’s greatest works, but it largely begs the same questions as 2019’s remake of Pet Sematary — why?
If there’s nothing new to bring to the table, it’s OK to leave the story and walk away. That’s perfectly acceptable. Even Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest had to leave the cornfields and head to the inner city to plow new ground. And that’s OK too.
Children of the Corn is Rated R and currently streaming on Shudder.