★★★★ out of ★★★★★
Many have characterized this film as “Hallmark Horror.” Which is, of course, lazy short hand for the fact that the film has an emotional component and it manages to draw the audience in to a deep and meaningful concern for the main protagonists. Mind you this is not “This is Us” or some other network pablum, but a legitimate exploration of a father/son relationship in the throws of pre-teen puberty -- set against HORROR, glorious horror.
Roger Corman, James Wan, George Romero, Alfred Hitchcock, Dario Argento, Steven Spielberg, Stanley Kubrick, Tobe Hooper, Jennifer Kent, Mario Bava,...
★★ out of ★★★★★
A “C” is passing, but it ain’t that great in the scheme of things. It’s just OK. Sometimes it’s from lack of trying, sometimes it’s from a poor teacher, and sometimes the student doesn’t have a lot to work from. In the case of 2022’s My Best Friend’s Exorcism, it had great source material, a great story, and the backing of one of the biggest corporations on the planet. So what the hell happened to one of the most anticipated films of 2022?
A stabbing nightmare becomes a living terror?!?!?! Come on! What’s not to love about the tagline alone. That’s just pure...
★★★.5 out of ★★★★★
You’ve seen the VHS tape. You’ve seen the poster. Hell, you’ve probably even seen the trailer for this 1980s slice of brilliance, BUT have you actually seen the movie?
Scary movie, scary film, and SUPER-scary soundtrack! Technically this is not a post about a poster, but more about the...
★★1/2 out of ★★★★★ A VHS box really is worth a thousand words… Sometimes a picture’s worth a thousand words, sometimes...
Kids. Tweens. Teens. Neighbors. Co-workers. Scaredy cats. Squeamish about horror and don't know where to start? Want to fully indoctrinate your kids in to the unforgiving world of horror? Need something to chat about around the workplace water-cooler -- besides Stormy Daniels?
★★★★ out of ★★★★★ Just when you thought the zombie genre had plumb run out of ideas along comes a pretty interesting and pretty inventive take on on a concept that’s...uh...dying.
Blumhouse is back on the scene with a brand new joint that's guaranteed to give you a mean case of the shivers. Don't look now, but the Vigil is coming your way on July 31, 2020.
★★★.5 out of ★★★★★ Not all horror films need to be over-wrought. They needn't be filled with hyper-complex multi-layered lore. CGI has its time and place, but that time in place is not in every time and every place. On occasion horror is able to lean simply on human emotions, quaint spaces, and languid settings. If you need a reprieve from the hustle and bustle of 21st century horror then Beyond the Woods is waiting for you...just beyond the woods.
What?!?!? Was Alien the ultimate rip-off? Gestating aliens. Space travelers. Night of the Blood Beast has these things and more!...
While last year’s the Black Phone brought vans fully back into our collective psyche’s focus, vans and their association to serial killers have been around forever. Sometimes the fears are warranted and sometimes they’re not. Sometimes the fears are a highly inflated statistical figment of our imagination and sometimes they’re rooted firmly in…the truth.
★★★★.5 out of ★★★★★ Don’t. Turn. This. Movie. Off. Seriously, it’s a slow burn in grand tradition of slow burn horror films, but the payoff off is so deliciously evil and filling. If you stop after the aspic and the salad course you’ll miss a rather grisly desert.
It’s WORLD CUP time. That means lots, and lots, and lots of football — and the UNDEAD! Haven’t seen this...
★★★.5 out of ★★★★★
It’s always fascinating to see how something of little-to-no-value can bring out the worst in people as soon as they realize that someone else is interested in the same valueless item. This dynamic is made all the worse when it’s families fighting over the same scrap of trash. Worse yet? When that scrap of trash is the site of a 1979 horror film, the Whooper.
★★.5 out of ★★★★★
A quiet and ethereal film about and equally quiet and ethereal creature. The Wendigo may be the most ill-defined creature in all of horror. Not just because the Wendigo pulls directly from many different tales of Native American lore, but the fact that the perfect Wendigo film has yet to be made. Antlers from 2021 is close, but that’s a whole other story.
Sometimes, you have to love a horror movie, warts and all.
★★ out of ★★★★★
Wait 30 minutes after eating before going for a Night Swim.
🤟🤟out of 🤟🤟🤟🤟🤟
Are you a fan of a) Metal, b) vaguely satanic possessions, c) explicit drug usage, d) nudity, e) lots of blood (read: LOTS), and f) the word FUCK? I mean, sure who isn’t in favor of all these things right? Each has lots to offer. They’re interesting. Taken in small doses they can be a very powerful antidote to a lagging cinematic undertaking. When taken in over-dose-like proportions the gore and bad words take on an underwhelming status.
In light of all the insurrectionist lunacy that we faced in early 2021, it's an incredible stroke of kismet that the horror gods would be throwing us the Forever Purge in the very same year. But they are.
★★★ out of ★★★★★
Part thriller, part mystery, part horror, and all metaphor! No Exit is a pretty fun thrill ride that never gets too gory, grimy, or grody. Just a little bit of each, but not too much of any.
★★ out of ★★★★★
In 1974 we were treated to a gory nightmare that served as a haunting metaphor for the Viet Nam War. Now, 48 years later we’re being served a vile and equally nightmarish metaphor for class war and the cultural disposability of the elderly. There’s even a nice treatise on the perversion of the current real estate market in the United States.
Director David Blue Garcia even throws in a discussion of gun violence in America, the growing tension between red and blue states, and some light rumination the country’s history of racial injustice. Sound like too much? Well, it is.
★★1/2 out of ★★★★★
🩸🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸
Remember Witchboard? The Tawny Kitaen led Ouija Board camp classic? How well does it hold up to today's standards? It's earnest. It tries hard. But it's as stiff as the Ouija Board itself. Read on for more conclusions!
Another year and another dollar! Once again Hollyweird cranked up the hype machine and had us parking our collective butts back in the theaters. What got your butt back in the theater? What got you to risk exposure to another Covid variant? What got you to shell out $14 bones for a mountain of greasy popcorn?
The POSTER! That’s what did it.
Oh boy…it’s here. The new trailer for the next Jordan Peele joint, Us. I guess we should say, triple...
The Golden Age of Horror continues to churn out fun, exciting, imaginative, shocking, and innovative delights for all!