Intensity 🩸🩸🩸🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸
Directed by Eli Roth.
From the jump audiences are treated to a treasure trove of songs that sound like they were ripped straight from a 1979 Italian Giallo film. In fact, true blue Giallo fans will recognize some melodies that are reminiscent of the Ennio Morricone’s work on the Argento classic the Bird with the Crystal Plumage. It’s a pure and loving homage that’s employed in a way that practically lulls audiences into a false sense of security only to be jostled into gory mayhem.
The Ice Cream Man, not to be confused with the 1995 Clint Howard film of the same name, hits the gas from minute one and never slows down until the credits roll. The film quickly exposes viewers to a hopelessly serene and bucolic suburban park setting where we’re immediately introduced to our eleven year old protagonist, and inept athlete, Jared (Charlie Zeltzer).
In addition to being an inept athlete, Jared’s social woes are only made worse by the fact that he’s also lactose intolerant. Jared drops a fly ball in the outfield and loses the game for his team. Chastised by his teammates and the opposing team, Jared is subjected to a light roast where he’s gifted an ice cream cone for his incompetent baseball skills.
The Ice Cream Man (Ari Millen) gathers all the children around his truck like a clarion call of temptation. However, the ice cream cone is quickly intercepted by his older sassier sister, Lizzie (Sarah Abbott). Sarah loudly proclaims to those in ear shot that Jared is lactose intolerant and whisks him away from the tempting treat. The film plays on the worst and often irrational parenting fears about degenerate ice cream truck drivers, and in 2026, that these once-lauded summer jobs, are now weird and off putting.
Director Eli Roth wastes no time in establishing that the ice cream is woefully tainted. That said, if you’ve seen the poster or the trailer you’ll understand that above and beyond the fact ice cream isn’t good for your waist band, this particular brand ice cream is truly problematic. In addition to writing and directing responsibilities, Roth also manages to play a critical character in the film, Jared’s father, Marty.
It turns out the Marty’s family has lived in the pastoral community Bayleen Bay for time immemorial and they may be hiding an awful secret pertaining to ritual abuses by the church, harassment of migrants, and generally awful behavior by self-entitled attorneys. Roth, as both director and actor, does great job of establishing the family’s fun but frayed dynamics in a rollicking dinner table tete-a-tete.
That evening, as the parents slumber, the children begin to kill, torture, maim, and inflect chaos and panic on the community. It’s not quite Terrifier-level gore, but it’s funny, punchy, and in many cases, weirdly defies the laws of physics. Roth’s horror vernacular is large, but you’ll see definitely see nods to the Birds, Dawn of the Dead, and even, Cooties.
The real gore and disorder happens the following morning when Jared and two other school acquaintances — Mia (Kiori Mirza Waldman) and Tommy (Shiloh O’Reilly) show up to school seemingly uninfected by the hypnotic spell that the Ice Cream Man has on the Bayleen Bay children. Almost immediately the children also begin to kill, torture, and maim the teachers with normal every day school supplies. Pencils, pasta, paint, microscopes, and popsicle sticks are all used to tear the schools faculty from limb to limb.
As Jared and his chums seek refuge in nearby church, a pastor who’s been locked in a basement walk-in freezer explains the entire chilling tale to threesome. In a hysterical bit of exposition, the pastor over-explains the story and gives them the solution to their problems in an absurd and complicated manner.
Jared eventually teams up with his sister Lizzie to stop the distasteful ways of the Ice Cream Man. Roth brings the film to a wonderful conclusion that may actually portend an Ice Cream Man II or III.
Should you see the Ice Cream Man?
Much ink — in the form of online blather — has been spilled about Ice Cream Man. Most of it irrationally focuses on a select number of generative AI scenes that take place early in the film where a black and white Disney-esque vignette plays on the phone screens of the local children. Should Roth have used an actual animator for the 10+ seconds of animation? Yes, resoundingly so. Roth definitely erred on this front and the fact that he “misspoke” about the use of AI is a rather meager admission in the form of an equally meager apology.
What many may be missing is the fact that this is micro-budget film that delivers significant gore, really wonderful acting on the part of all the children — in particular a perfectly comedic performance by Charlie Zetzler (Jared). The film is not Hereditary, nor is Kwaidan. This is a film that allows you to turn your thinker off, roil in the gore, and have a fun time enjoying an homage to VHS slop.
More importantly, if the criticism is about the meager use of generative AI, maybe critics should spend some time focusing on the exceptional artistic practical effects, props, and gallons and gallons of blood, brains, and guts used in the film.
Don’t go looking for the next Alejandro Jodorowsky, because this isn’t that. Do go looking for a fun and gory mess from one of horror’s greatest independent directors who’s found a a way to forge a company (The Horror Section) that develops, finances, produces, and distributes horror films. In our book, that’s a pretty delicious way to spend your money.
Ice Cream Man is in theaters everywhere.