The Scariest Things Episode 142: Our Favorite Horror Couples

Couples. Partners. Lovers. Siblings. Spouses. Besties. Some of the most fascinating horror characters come in pairs. Whether they team up for good or evil, these characters are inextricably linked together to their fates. In Episode 142 we explore some of our favorite horror duets.
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Trailer Alert! The Innocents

Norwegian creepy-kid chiller "The Innocents" receives a May 13 release from IFC Midnight, and The Scariest Things has the new trailer for you!
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An Unfathomable Lovecraftian Horror Short: The Relic (2021)

The thrilling horror short "The Relic" manages to pull off the incredible in satisfying both the academic Lovecraft purists and those who want a spectacular body horror showcase. For those in the know, this may be the definitive screen depiction of the crawling chaos, the old God, Nyarlathotep.
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Mike’s Review: Hellbender (2022)

★★★.5 out of ★★★★★ It is oft said that being a parent is the most unique and rewarding experience one could ever have. Simultaneously it’s the most dull and common experience among us. There are highs and lows to be sure, but most of the relationships are spent having a meal, doing laundry, and trying to figure each other out.  Hellbender spends the large majority of its hour and 26 minute run time focused on the more mundane aspects of the parent child relationship, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a wild and peculiar odyssey.
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Mike’s Review: Old (2021)

★★★ out of ★★★★★ Caught in one of the weirdest conundrums around. A story that’s either a perfectly time version of a Twightlight Zone episode, or a ten part series on Hulu, but is definitely unsuited for a feature length film. This is the world of M. Night Shyamalan’s 2021 joint, Old. 
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Eric’s Review: Evil Eye (2020)

★★★ out of ★★★★★ Familiar family themes resonate in the Indian immigration tale of generational trust issues and the classic trope of the lover with a deep dark secret. The movie vacillates between being poignant to predictable, but it is always buoyed when veteran character actress Sarita Choudhury (Mississippi Masala) is on screen. It works much better as a family drama than a horror film, but it does have a thriller payoff at the end.
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The Scariest Things Podcast Episode 141: Police Procedural Horror

Detective, you are a loose cannon! Turn in your piece, your shield, and make sure to turn that ancient evil tome into evidence. Now get out of my office! The cop cliches are layered on top of a genre with plenty of our favorite tried and true horror tropes. This is the world of the thriller and the hunt of serial killers. It is time for Episode 142 and we're talking police procedural horror.
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Mike’s Review: Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

★★ out of ★★★★★ In 1974 we were treated to a gory nightmare that served as a haunting metaphor for the Viet Nam War. Now, 48 years later we’re being served a vile and equally nightmarish metaphor for class war and the cultural disposability of the elderly. There’s even a nice treatise on the perversion of the current real estate market in the United States. Director David Blue Garcia even throws in a discussion of gun violence in America, the growing tension between red and blue states, and some light rumination the country’s history of racial injustice. Sound like too much? Well, it is. 
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Eric’s Review: Meander (2020)

★★★ out of ★★★★★ Can a film without a plot to speak of still be compelling? In the case of Meander, a claustrophobic tricks and traps film, the answer is a qualified yes. A woman grieving the loss of her daughter is abducted and stuffed into a ductwork maze sprinkled with an escalating parade of devilish traps. That is pretty much the entirety of what you need to know, but if you take a simple idea and execute it well. it is worth watching.
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Trailer and Poster Alert: Argento’s Black Glasses!

Fingers crossed — firmly. We here at the Scariest Things Podcast wish nothing but goodwill towards one of, and possibly, the greatest horror directors of all time. But, sadly, Dario Argento Dario has slipped in recent years. Mother of Tears, Dracula 3D , Giallo, and, well, you get the idea. Contrasted with his earlier work you get the maddening sense that father time has finally caught up with this giallo genius. 
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Mike’s Review: We Need To Do Something (2021)

★★★★ out of ★★★★★ There’s nothing more devastating and frightening than a family at their wit's end who are also simultaneously at each other’s throats. One part drama, one part horror, one part nuclear family armageddon. You don’t want to watch the collapse, but you absolutely can’t peel your peepers from the impending chaos. 
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Mike’s Review: The Runner (2022)

★★.5 out of ★★★★★ To be clear, there’s not a lot of running in 2022’s The Runner. There’s some trundling through the woods and there’s some “running shoes”, but it’s not entirely clear if you you could actually run in the shoes featured in this Shudder film. Think clunky hipster orthopedic running shoes. Probably not optimal for running.
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Trailer and Poster Alert! Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022

The sequel/re-quel that no one really asked for is right around the corner. This winter we’ll get to see more septuagenarians and/or octogenarians battle it out in a grudge match that began nearly 50 years ago! Why? Who knows. But it sure helped give the Halloween franchise a kick in the pants!
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Mike’s Review: Archive 81 (2022)

★★★★.5 out of ★★★★★ Archive 81 is the best piece of horror that’s ever dropped on Netflix and rest assured we’ll be talking about this as one of the best things that 2022 will offer us. Yes, you heard that right. 
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Eric’s Review: Don’t Breathe 2 (2021)

★★★ out of ★★★★★ Stephen Lang's Blind Man is back. Though this time he's managed to flip the script and is now the nominal protagonist in the sequel to the 2016 break-out surprise hit. Once the fearsome monster from the first movie, he is still a force to be reckoned with, but now he has a young charge to care for. It is tense and exciting, but there are still some major questions that require answers though.
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The Scariest Things Podcast Episode 139: The Worst Horror Films of 2021

This is the annual ritual of summarizing the year that was. We first celebrate the best of the year, and then we have to get real. Not everything was worth your time when it comes to scary movies last year. We don't enjoy doing this, but we have to name names. Welcome to Episode 139 where we dish out what wasn't good in 2021.
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The Scariest Things Review: Scream (2022)

The movie that brought meta front and center to horror, and gave an adrenaline boost to a tired slasher genre is back with its fifth installment. The movie remains meta, and brings a fresh new group of victims... I mean characters... to the screen, along with a few old familiar friends. Is it any good? For a feature this significant it takes all three of the Scariest Things Podcasters to weigh in.
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Mike’s Review: Sssssss (1973)

★★★ out of ★★★★★ Don’t say it…hissss it! The tagline from the trailer for the most unusual horror film ever made really hits the nail on the head. 
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