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Siamese Twins at Birth: What the Devil hath joined together let no man cut asunder.
Well, we're not sure who asked for this, but it's on the way. On December 13, 2019, we'll all get a chance to sit down and ingest the latest spooky offerings from Blumhouse in the form of the re-re-re-make of Black Christmas.
🐷🐷.5 out of 🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷
The planet is running out of animals. Literally and figuratively. Hollyweird has given us sharks (Jaws 1-4), rabbits (Night of the Lepus), bears (Grizzy), fish (Piranha), and man’s best friend (Cujo). There’s even been birds, wolves, snakes, rats, and gators, and whatever the hell a sharktopus is supposed to be. One of the things that Hollyweird hasn’t gotten its money-grubbing paws on is the pig, javelina, or boar – until now.
ZOMBIE ALERT: Two decidedly different performances (well three, technically) from the same actor in two horror films in the same year? Say it ain’t so!
★★ out of ★★★★★
Now with 30 percent less jump scares!
Horror is a big, broad, wide, deep and inviting genre. Everybody is welcome to hang out, have some chips, try...
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2017 gave us Get Out. 2018 gave us Heriditary. 2019’s dive in to intellectual terror is the Lodge. Just as its forefathers were dark, brooding, thought-provoking, and terrifying, so is this year’s entry in to the new age of thinky-horror. Note: thinky-horror is not yet an industry-accepted term, but you heard it here first.
★★★ out of ★★★★★ Yes. Dolls are creepy. You know this. We know this. They just have a creep factor...
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Ah...the holidays. Yes. Those holidays. The Christmas-y ones. The holidays that fill you full of joy, happiness, togetherness, peace, family...frustration, long lines, anger, resentment, hatred, and, AND, AND....CHRISTMAS TREES! The bane of the past, present, and the future. Commercialism mixed with a toxic cocktail of entitlement, greed, waste, and environmental cynicism and acrimony. Just a plain ol’ dislike for mother earth.
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Just because you thought A Quiet Place was cool doesn't mean it needs to be remade six months later.
Ya’ heard that right. Word on the gritty streets of Staten Island is that the rap super-group, THE Wu Tang...
Wow! Irish horror! There’s some spooky stuff happening in this A24 trailer for sure! According to Empire Magazine, the Hole...
★★★ out of ★★★★★
If something is around long enough it’s going to be parodied. There will be barbs, jabs, satire and plenty of loving imitation. Even the tropes and trends that surround a specific genre will get reworked, turned inside out, and devotedly re-re-re-imagined.
Do you like 1970s horror? Exorcisms? Hammer films? Of course you do! Just got word of a new flick that...
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
The joy of youth. The post-college road trip. Finding your way in vast spaces. Unconstrained, unconfined, uncontrolled. The world is your oyster, until it isn’t.
★★.5 out of ★★★★★ College isn’t for everyone. There’s peer pressure, there’s social acclimatization, there’s the freshman 15, there’s the daily grind of keeping one’s grades in check to maintain that almighty scholarship, and then there’s the relationships. The social bond that’s created can be a lasting and spiritually satisfying affinity, but the bond can go so deep that it’ll eventually turn collegiate relations sour and crazy.
★★★★ out of ★★★★★ Are you looking for that something extra to jolt you out of life’s day-to-day doldrums? That little something to shock your system in to a complete state of hysteria? Something so odious and vile that your mind won’t know how to process the capital "G" grisly-gore? Your pals at the Scariest Things Podcast have found just the thing. Enter...Green Inferno.
🌸🌸🌸 out of 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸 This is the true story, of nine strangers, picked to participate in weirdo cult hapennings, work together, and have their lives destroyed. Find out what happens, when people stop being polite, and start getting real…its a world of real cults!
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UFOs are real! Well, they might be real. Or, they’re probably imagined. Rather, we’re all crazy and we’re collectively imagining them. Or, maybe, just maybe, they really are real and the space aliens are making us crazy in an attempt to make us believe/not believe that they’re real/not real. All are real possibilities and 2019’s The Vast of the Night lays all of them on the table for us to sort out.
We’ll just park this over here in the What the What!?!?!? category. Apparently, and justifiably, unsatisfied with the 2006 remake...
★★★.5 out of ★★★★★ The new wave of horror cinema is officially upon us all. Gone are the jokey and...
★★★.5 out of ★★★★★
Say it ain’t so! A real life ghost story that just might be about real life GHOSTS! Not only is this a solid little flick with a gaggle of ghostly misdirection, it’s also a film that features THE Janeane Garofalo. Sadly, while Ms. Garofalo isn’t in the film too much, her absence is made up by lots and lots of strange and ghoulish apparitions -- or not.
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This film doesn’t make a damn bit of sense, but that doesn’t necessarily make it a bad film. Au contraire.
★★★ out of ★★★★★
Andrew Borden : You're an abomination, Lizzie.
Lizzie Borden : And at last, we are on equal footing, father.
We'll just park this little 54 second trailer right on over here in the "huh" category. The Scariest Things Podcast challenges you to find a weirder, more off-putting, and more kick-ass fun trailer. Just try it. You won't succeed. We promise you.
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
Yes. It’s true. Some films are so awesomely bad that they’ve come full circle and are just plain awesomely awesome. And that’s the truth. One such film is the truly underrated and much ridiculed, 1968’s, the Green Slime. I mean the name kind of says it all.
Well this certainly looks interesting! Much like horror with all of its weird and appurtenant sub-genres, heavy metal, has got...
Oh...snap! It's on! The new Pet Sematary trailer just dropped and it's got a shot of Zelda! Yes. ZELDA.
★.5 out of ★★★★★
There are those films that need no exposition, and there are those that need a-plenty. The 2018 pre-teen fright fest, Slenderman, is a film that requires ample elucidation. Unfortunately, it contains little to none (read: none). While Slenderman does have some partially admirable elements, it also contains a bag-o’-problems.