The Worst Horror Movies of 2023. It’s an unfortunate but needed exposure of what was awful in 2023. What is more unfortunate is that we had to watch these movies last year. You may consider this a warning. A red flag. But admit it, many of you like to kick a bad movie when it’s down. Our advice? Kick away! You love this. We know you do.
If you tuned into our Best Horror Movies of 2023 (and if you haven’t, what’s stopping you?), know that there is a flip side to that coin. Fortunately, 2023 was not overloaded with awful horror movies this year, but there were a few. The Scariest Things is here to warn you before spending your hard-earned cash on what could be a bad movie experience. We recognize that some of you enjoy watching terrible movies, so for you, this is your moment!
A favorite saying around here is, “Your Mileage May Vary.” That is to say, all movies are subjective. What we love or hate may not match your evaluation of a film. So, take our critiques with a handful of salty buttered popcorn. In fact, there are some disagreements within our own selections. You should listen to the podcast for the reactions.
Every year, we lament the tepid offerings from the big studios. Cheap or unnecessary reboots or sequels have been the norm for the big production houses. Thin premises that get stretched past their breaking points have been another problematic issue. (Looking at YOU, Blumhouse!) Remarkably, these issues weren’t so much of a problem this year. The sequels and reboots were mostly pretty good. *1
What appears to be a looming concern is independent filmmakers claiming long-standing expiring intellectual properties and doing super-cheap exploitation films. This looks to be a trend like Mockbusters, where filmmakers find a cheap source of recognizable characters and twist the stories. This would not be bad if there were some care or creativity in their production, but this looks to be a bad trend moving forward.
The Podcast Link:
If you want to get the results organically and not be spoiled, listen to this first and then come back to the site. Despite the crappy content we had to cover, we had a blast recording this. The Worst Of episode is always so much fun and full of silliness.
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The Critic Scorecards: The Worst Horror Films of 2023
Mike Campbell
Liz Williams
- Malum
- Children of the Corn
- Disquiet
Robert Zilbauer
- Five Nights at Freddy’s
- Slotherhouse
- It’s a Wonderful Knife
Eric Li
- Children of the Corn
- Mister Organ
- Winnie the Pooh Blood and Honey
- POST PODCAST SELECTION: Pig Killer *2
Dishonorable Mentions:
- Exorcist Believer
- V/H/S 1985
- Influencer
- Kids vs. Aliens
- The Meg 2
- Gods of the Deep
- Your Love is Mine
- Animalia
- Invoking Yell
- Divinity
Footnotes:
- Exorcist Believer was underwhelming and failed relative to the source material. It had a high bar to reach and came up comparably short. Very short. Also, a shameful plug of Ellen Burstyn and Linda Blair, who appear to be in the movie solely to get publicity buzz. It’s not as bad as the worst films here, but it’s a huge disappointment.
- Eric saw Pig Killer after recording the Podcast for The Worst Horror Films of 2023. This film is an abomination and had to be included in this list. The story revolves around a pig farmer (Jake Busey) living in a mobile home who abducts prostitutes, rapes them, and chops them into pieces to feed his pig. The cinematography is uninspired and not framed well. Additionally, the soundtrack seems like a self-indulgent effort to get the director’s buddy’s music into the movie. This movie rivals Winnie the Pooh Blood and Honey for the most unpleasant watch of the year.