1/2 ★ out of ★★★★★
Ted Lange from Loveboat is not Sir Laurence Oliver, neither is Baywatch stalwart, David Chokachi. To be clear, the level of acting in Blood Pageant, and for that matter everything else, is a pretty thin stab at the horror genre.
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
It’s probably not too far out on a limb to say that Dave Grohl is an American treasure, but it turns out he actually is. From his time in Scream to Nirvana and his alt-grunge outfit the Foo Fighters, the man has done it all. Vacillating between documentaries with topics as varied as the Bad Brains, Lemmy, obscure record labels, and even Devo, Dave has covered nearly every possible music genre and sub-genre.
While he’s acted in a handful of fictional films, he’s never really touched on the world of horror. That is until now. Turns out he’s a pretty great actor. And, he’s also got a penchant for comedy.
Well this certainly looks interesting! Much like horror with all of its weird and appurtenant sub-genres, heavy metal, has got...
★★.5 out of ★★★★★
What’s the scariest thing you can include in a horror film? Why the unknown and the unfamiliar, of course. What’s more unknown and unfamiliar than the darkest musical art form, Black Metal? Well, really nothing. That is as scary as music gets.
Run sister, run! Get out there! Pronto! According to the horror team at IMDB this fun little slab of celluloid...
🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘 out of 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘
“This is rock and roll that is going to change your fucking life!” — Lita Ford.
★★★ out of ★★★★★
Intensity 🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸
As we’ve said before, pulling off a horror comedy is one of the most precarious feats a director can attempt. The feat is made all the more difficult when it’s done on a micro-budget with limited to no resources. Easter Bloody Easter manages to walk this tight rope with aplomb, while pulling in one of the coolest Black Sabbath horror references since the semi-eponymous Black Sabbath in 1963.
This Easter 🐰🐰🐰 you haven't a hop in hell! Because...here comes Peter Cottonhell! If those aren't two of the most hackneyed and shoe-horned taglines we don't know what are. Because Beaster Day is real, it's coming for you, and we've digested more crappy films that anyone should!
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
🚫 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸
If you know horror you know Satan. You might even say horror and Satan are best pals. They’ve been hanging around for a long time always pushing boundaries and always trying something cheeky and new.
Sometimes this friendship is on the down-low and sometimes Satan gets a pinch uppity and decides to out the entire relationship. Or at least his (or her) relationship to the general public. When that happens it’s a messy and ugly affair.
★ out of ★★★★★
Because of money grubbing, legal hassling, and Hollywood head-butting, we haven’t seen a Friday the 13th film since 2009. Word on the street is that the 1980 Friday the 13th originator Sean Cunningham is BACK. Just like Jason never died!!! He’s teaming up with the writer and the director from a new horror flick, the Night Driver, and they’re making a reboot/sequel/requel happen.
★★★★.5 out of ★★★★★ In the latest installment of "If you're not watching Indonesian horror movies, you're blowing it," brings us 2020's The Queen of Black Magic. It's true. Indonesia is the new incubator for the creepiest crawlies that the horror genre has to offer. Every country has had their day in the sun. The UK plastered us with Hammer and Amicus throughout the 1960s. The US reimagined the genre with slashers and super killers throughout the 1970s and 80s. And Japan brought a whole new slate of water and hair-borne frights in the late 1990s and in to the early 2000s. Now it's Indonesia time to shine.
★.5 out of ★★★★★
Alright. Move along. Move along. There’s nothing to see here. Really, there’s nothing to see. A sad commentary on what should have been one of the most celebrated films this side of Halloween Kills. But, it’s true. The reimagining of the Slumber Party Massacre is a dull and uneven homage to its predecessor.
When good art goes bad? When bad artists attack good artists? When good artists attack bad critics? Who knows? All...
★★ out of ★★★★★ At Rob Zombie’s darkened dirtbag core is a full and unfiltered embrace of the age-old adage “if it ain’t broke, don't fix it.” Slow motion. Hyperbolic acting (or in some cases no acting). Closeups so close you can count individual pores Captain Spaulding’s grease-paint soaked forehead. Weirdly rare and off-putting selection of non-Joe Walsh James Gang tracks. If you’ve seen House of a Thousand Corpses and Devil’s Rejects then you’ve been thoroughly exposed to Mr. Zombie’s cinema trickery.
One year in the books, and it's time to reflect upon our experience as Podcasters and Writers!
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
The son of De Palma’s Blow-Out! The grandson of Michelangelo Antonioni’s Blow-Up! A new vision of paranoid conspiracy theories as told through the latest fandangled piece of technology! Or in this case technologies.
Kids. Tweens. Teens. Neighbors. Co-workers. Scaredy cats. Squeamish about horror and don't know where to start? Want to fully indoctrinate your kids in to the unforgiving world of horror? Need something to chat about around the workplace water-cooler -- besides Stormy Daniels?
★★★ out of ★★★★★
While no one on the Scariest Things Podcast is a licensed cryptozoologist, it’s fair to say that we all have an interest in this murky science. There’s even a few of us — gasp — that might actual believe in the cryptids! When this most recent offering popped up at the Another Hole in the Head Film fest we knew we had to search it out.
★★★.5 out of ★★★★★
Wait. Hold up. It took four cats to play the cat “Church”? And it took two kids to play Gage? That’s commitment!
★★★ out of ★★★★★
Influencer is the newest, hottest, and most hyped term of the last several years. Meaning many things to many people, including those that self-identify as influencers. For the rest of us it’s met with derision, disgust, and discounted as a cynical millennial side-hustle. All these things, and more, are modern truisms that we've all unwittingly had to learn about.
CAN’T. BE. DONE. That film is sacrosanct! It’s untouchable. It’s pure perfection and should never be subject to the sleazy...
“I’m So proud of my boys they never forget their mama.” Kinda says it all…doesn’t it. Happy Mother’s Day from...
★★.5 out of ★★★★★
Who’s ready for an early 1990s straight-to-VHS horror-filled romp in the hood? Silly caricatures? Thin and well-trod plot? A vague rip-off of 1980s slashers and a not-so subtle rip-off of the Saw franchise? If any of this sounds remotely interesting then you’re in for a treat! Bitch Ass has got it all.
★★★ out of ★★★★★
Caught in one of the weirdest conundrums around. A story that’s either a perfectly time version of a Twightlight Zone episode, or a ten part series on Hulu, but is definitely unsuited for a feature length film. This is the world of M. Night Shyamalan’s 2021 joint, Old.
★★★.5 out of ★★★★★
Many horror films try, but equally, many films fail to concoct the perfect period piece. Often times concepts for period pieces in the world of horror seem to be centered around someone’s uncle who has a really mint 1977 Trans Am. Seems like an easy tasked to build an entire film around some funky vintage clothes and a sweet ride, but more often than not it’s a task where many fail.
★★★.5 out of ★★★★★
Say it ain’t so! A real life ghost story that just might be about real life GHOSTS! Not only is this a solid little flick with a gaggle of ghostly misdirection, it’s also a film that features THE Janeane Garofalo. Sadly, while Ms. Garofalo isn’t in the film too much, her absence is made up by lots and lots of strange and ghoulish apparitions -- or not.
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
If we’ve learned anything it’s that horror movies are one big bag of smoke and mirrors. It’s a ruse, a put on, a sham. So much disbelief needs to be suspended to make the entire haunted house of cards structurally sound. If there’s any loose horror screws the entire effort collapses in a pile of unscary dust.
But when it works? Oh boy, does it work!
★★★ out of ★★★★★ Supernatural doo wop revenge — telekinesis style! Thirty years after her accidental death at her 1957 senior...
★★★★.5 out of ★★★★★
This might seem like a stretch, but you’ve never seen a film quite like 2022’s Men. Really. It’s in a pretty singular place in the world of psychedelic horror. Frankly, there’s nothing that really compares to this shocking bit of A24 business. Unless you count David Cronenberg’s 1979 classic the Brood as a contemporary — but that was 43 years ago.
Men, directed by friend of horror, Alex Garland (28 Days Later and Annihilation) is exactly the film that 2022 needed, nay required. By managing to expertly weave through a minefield of trauma, sexual repression, male insecurity, and post-#metoo movement dynamics, Garland turns in one of the best horror films of the year.