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horror movies

December 9, 2021

Mike’s Review: The Brilliant Terror (2021) (Another Hole in the Head Film Festival)

★★★★ out of ★★★★★ To be clear, horror is the human condition. Sure there’s ghosts, robots, cannibals, witches, and Jason Voorhees, but all these finely finessed sub-genres are really just an extension of the human condition. Much ink has been poured over this subject, but rarely does a horror documentary get at this hyper-simple truism.

December 6, 2021

Mike’s Review: The Whooper Returns (2021) (Another Hole in the Head Film Festival)

★★★.5 out of ★★★★★ It’s always fascinating to see how something of little-to-no-value can bring out the worst in people as soon as they realize that someone else is interested in the same valueless item. This dynamic is made all the worse when it’s families fighting over the same scrap of trash. Worse yet? When that scrap of trash is the site of a 1979 horror film, the Whooper.

November 30, 2021

Mike’s Review: Slumber Party Massacre (2021)

★.5 out of ★★★★★ Alright. Move along. Move along. There’s nothing to see here. Really, there’s nothing to see. A sad commentary on what should have been one of the most celebrated films this side of Halloween Kills. But, it’s true. The reimagining of the Slumber Party Massacre is a dull and uneven homage to its predecessor.

November 17, 2021

Mike’s Review: Martyrs Lane (2021)

👻👻👻 out of 👻👻👻👻👻 The go-to move for horror filmmakers in the modern era is the tortured family dynamic. It’s creepy, hidden, sinister, and above all tragic. When you mix in a heaping dose of the death of a child, tragic can take a very dark complexion and make it, well, darker.

October 18, 2021

Mike’s Review: Halloween Kills (2021)

★★★★ out of ★★★★★ As demonic crooner Ronnie James Dio once famously opined “when you listen to fools, the mob rules.” Maybe this prescient piece of advice was being plied to the January 6 insurrection, maybe it was being plied to Halloween Kills, but just maybe Dio’s magical ways were sorting out many future truths.

August 17, 2021

Mike’s Review: The Last Matinee (Popcorn Frights 2021)

★★★★ out of ★★★★★ The Last Matinee is a loving homage to film. More to the point it’s a loving homage and exploration of Argento, Fulchi, grindhouse cinema, slashers, grimy movie theaters, and quite possibly the great Lamberto Bava film Demons. Don’t be fooled though. While The Last Matinee pulls from many of the classics, it’s got its own unique style and flavor, and it’s cram-packed with EYEBALLS.

August 9, 2021

Mike’s Portland Horror Film Festival Review: Red River Road (2020)

★★★★ out of ★★★★★ It’s fair to say that we might not know the full impact of the global pandemic tragedy for years or even decades. Some have been tragically impacted by the pandemic, some have wandered in a face-covered fog, and others have irresponsibly stuck their heads in the sand. Everyone has had choices to make during the pandemic and those choices have manifested in the horrible, but they’ve also been used for creativity and good.

July 22, 2021

Movie News! New Jordan Peele Poster, Nope.

If you follow the ol' Scariest Things Podcast you know that we love our posters! No poster is too weird, too gory, too strange, too horrifying, or too vague.

June 1, 2021

Mike’s Review: Satan’s Slave (1976)

★★ out of ★★★★★ Crack open the dusty dictionary parked over on your bookshelf and look up staid British horror film. We’ll wait. What’s it say? 1976’s Satan’s Slave? Yep, that’s what we thought.

December 22, 2020

Mike’s Review: Victim of Love (Another Hole in the Head Festival)

★★1/2 out of ★★★★★ A super stylish and exceptionally well-scored film that’s partially in Danish and partially in English and…wait for it…features a character who’s half Danish and half American.

October 3, 2020

Mike’s Review: Spiral (2020)

★★★★ out of ★★★★★ Horror movies really are the ultimate glimpse in to the soul of man. Society's reflection upon itself. Our most base thoughts, visions, hopes, dreams, and fears all laid bare for the universe to see. The historic period of time is largely irrelevant to the equation, because the result is always the same -- man's continued inhumanity to man.

September 3, 2020

The Scariest Things Podcast Episode CVI: Abduction Horror!

Imagine that one day, you're just standing around, minding your own business and then ZOOP! You've been captured! Whisked away to a strange dungeon, and then tortured, and experimented on and... well it's not pretty, and for many, this a fate worse than death. The Scariest Things Crew explores this trope and has managed to drum up some real sleepers that might be new to you!

June 21, 2020

Mike’s PHFF Review: Uncle Peckerhead (2020)

★★★★ out of ★★★★★ Pulling off a feature length film takes some serious gumption. Pulling off a film that balances impeccable comedic timing, a fully realized soundtrack, empathetic characters, complicated friendships, and a heaping dose of spatter gore -- well, that's a whole different story. Directed by horror short filmmaker Matthew John Lawrence, Uncle Peckerhead hits every single note and simultaneously manages to bang out a gory film that would make Herschell Gordon Lewis blush.

April 20, 2020

Horror News: The Isolation Horrors (2020)

Have you had enough yet? Did you lose out on the last role of toilet paper? Are you debating the merits of the Exorcist vs. Exorcist III with your cat? Has the isolation started to creep under your skin and in to your psyche? Good! You're in luck. There's a new short horror anthology that looks at the dark and horrific side of ISOLATION!

March 28, 2020

Movie Posters We Love: The BEST Pandemic Horror Movie Posters

You’ll scream, screech, gasp, cough wheeze, and, well…hopefully it’s just a common cold and it’ll be done in a couple days. One of the best ways to determine whether it is a common cold? Check the current CDC guidelines and consult with your local health department. After you’ve done the requisite diagnosis, grabbed some vitamin C, and little DayQuil — THEN check out this gallery of the weirdest, wildest, wackiest and just plain BEST pandemic horror posters ever created! These posters are infected so wash your hands after you’ve touched this gang of impurity!

December 8, 2021

Mike’s Review: My Cherry Pie (2021) (Another Hole in the Head Film Festival)

★★.5 out of ★★★★★ There’s no telling if 2021’s My Cherry Pie qualifies as Oz-spoitation, but it sure looks, sounds, and feels like something straight off of 42nd street. It’s not the pastoral Picnic at Hanging Rock, nor is it the ever-haunting Lake Mungo. Think Wolf Creek with little-to-no-budget, an extra bit of nastiness, and a pinch of grindhouse.

December 3, 2021

Trailer Alert: Studio 666

When we caught wind of this (assuredly) horror comedy last month we weren't entirely clear if we were looking at an elaborate album hype, a hoax, or an actual film.

November 20, 2021

Mike’s Review: Ghostbusters Afterlife (2021)

👻👻👻 out of 👻👻👻👻👻 Now 37 years in to the franchise you probably have a good idea of what to expect from the latest installment of the Ghostbusters, AKA Ghostbusters: Afterlife. Every thing that you think you’re going to see is guaranteed to be seen. There are some sly and not so sly references to the original 1984 Ghostbusters film. But, at the end of the day, Ghostbusters: Afterlife is largely an exact duplicate of its 1984 grandfather.

November 8, 2021

Movie News: Studio 666 Coming Soon!

As ideas slowly become more and more (re) used and reworked filmmaking has progressively embraced the meta. In fact, things have become so meta sometimes it’s difficult to tell when one concept ends and the next begins. Enter the recently announced horror offering featuring…the Foo Fighters?

September 16, 2021

The Scariest Things Podcast Extra: The Greatest Movie Monster of All Time Bracket Fight!

A little extra treat for our Podcast Listeners. We had a live run through of one of our favorite activities: A Bracket Fight! A live audience of about 150 got to hoot and holler for their favorite monsters and selecting a creature feature champion. There were some great upsets and definite fan favorites. Who won? You'll have to listen in to find out.

August 17, 2021

Mike’s Review: Dashcam (Popcorn Frights 2021)

★★★★ out of ★★★★★ The son of De Palma’s Blow-Out! The grandson of Michelangelo Antonioni’s Blow-Up! A new vision of paranoid conspiracy theories as told through the latest fandangled piece of technology! Or in this case technologies.

July 27, 2021

Robert’s Review: Blood Red Sky (2021)

★★★ out of ★★★★★ Horror takes to the skies once again with Netflix's latest blood-soaked vampires-on-a-plane romp.

June 23, 2021

Mike’s Review: Fulci for Fake (2019)

★★ out of ★★★★★ Some will say the epicenter of the Fulci universe lie in the greatness of the gory triptych: The New York Ripper, The House by the Cemetery, and The Beyond. Others will point to the earlier, less gory but equally frightening confines of The Psychic, Don't Torture a Duckling, and A Lizard in a Woman's Skin. No matter where you fall on the Lucio Fulci spectrum it’s awfully hard to argue about his immense and ever-lasting output. Stanley Kubrik only directed 13 films. But Fulci? He directed 61.

May 26, 2021

Trailer Alert! False Positive (2021)

Oh, Hollywood and your ever-clever marketing minions. You really had us at "...contemporary take on the classic horror film Rosemary’s Baby." That just makes our hardened horror heart go pitter-patter.

November 9, 2020

Dead List: Top 10 Horror Soundtracks of All Time

Can music make a film? Break a film? Raise the hairs on the back of your head? Make you curl up in a ball and weep? You bet your bottom dollar! Open you ears and tune in to the ten most evil soundtracks your little ears ever did hear!

September 5, 2020

Mike’s Review: Beyond the Woods (2018)

★★★.5 out of ★★★★★ Not all horror films need to be over-wrought. They needn't be filled with hyper-complex multi-layered lore. CGI has its time and place, but that time in place is not in every time and every place. On occasion horror is able to lean simply on human emotions, quaint spaces, and languid settings. If you need a reprieve from the hustle and bustle of 21st century horror then Beyond the Woods is waiting for you...just beyond the woods.

August 2, 2020

Dead List: Top 10 Animal Horror Films

Thumper, Ben, Lassie, Willard, Cujo…my pet gator? Why have you chosen to forsake me? In Episode 16 we explored this very question and got down and dirty in the animal kingdom. These are some of the scariest pets and animals to have ever graced the silver screen and boy have they gone bad! They PRETEND to be man's best friend but ultimately they've got other things in store for us weak and inferior humans. Before you race out to the pet store watch the ten scariest films ever made featuring animals!

April 23, 2020

The Scariest Things Podcast Episode XCV: Holy Horror!

As we exit Easter and enter Ramadan, it's a good time to explore the relationship between horror movies and religion. Whether you like your horror featuring sweaty preachers or ancient prophecies, we scour the archives for some great holy horror nuggets for you!

April 16, 2020

Mike’s Review: Lake Mungo (2008)

★★★★★ out of ★★★★★ There exists this exquisite location somewhere right between a documentary, a dramatization, found footage, a fictionalized accounting of events, and a full on horror show. This venn diagram of a locale is a rather tough place to pinpoint and few films ever wandered there. That was of course until 2008 when Lake Mungo was released.

March 27, 2020

Mike’s Review: Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)

★★ out of ★★★★★ Sometimes less really is more. And sometimes way less is really way more. Eschewing all prior entries in Paranormal Activity franchise, and more importantly questioning the simple aesthetic of the found footage horror sub-genre. Enter Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension. For those of you keeping track at home — and sadly, at this point, you really need to keep track to follow this franchise — this is number six.

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