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April 28, 2022

Mike’s Review: Intruder (1989)

★★★ out of ★★★★★ This hop, skip, and jump down memory lane provides an incredible gory realization that horror films from the 1980s were silly, confusing, and nasty bits of business. Sure they were rather amateur-ish, but they were also exciting jumping off points for the masters of horror for decades to come! There’s Sam Raimi, Ted Raimi, Greg Nicotero, Bruce Campbell, Renée Estevez, and even famed Tarantino producer, Lawrence Bender. Some parts are smaller than others, but rest assured, they’re all there!

April 18, 2022

Mike’s Book Report: Shelter of the Damned (2021)

★★★★ out of ★★★★★ Equal parts Stand By Me, Stranger Things, and Hellraiser, the Shelter of the Damned presents a pretty dark look at adolescence and the lengths that kids will go to to get out of school.

March 16, 2022

Mike’s Review: Hypochondriac (SXSW 2022)

★★★★ out of ★★★★★ Hypochondriac is really a film that hits the right place and the right time. Mental health, familial relationships, concern about physical health and well being, and our collective sense that we just might be lost in the universe. Hypochondriac delivers on all these fronts and manages to sneak in a couple legitimate scares!

February 18, 2022

Mike’s Review: Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

★★ out of ★★★★★ In 1974 we were treated to a gory nightmare that served as a haunting metaphor for the Viet Nam War. Now, 48 years later we’re being served a vile and equally nightmarish metaphor for class war and the cultural disposability of the elderly. There’s even a nice treatise on the perversion of the current real estate market in the United States. Director David Blue Garcia even throws in a discussion of gun violence in America, the growing tension between red and blue states, and some light rumination the country’s history of racial injustice. Sound like too much? Well, it is.

January 26, 2022

Mike’s Review: Archive 81 (2022)

★★★★.5 out of ★★★★★ Archive 81 is the best piece of horror that’s ever dropped on Netflix and rest assured we’ll be talking about this as one of the best things that 2022 will offer us. Yes, you heard that right.

December 30, 2021

Mike’s Review: Death Valley (2021)

★ out of ★★★★★ It’s always disappointing when someone takes one of your favorite horror sub-genres and brutally bastardizes it. The “we’re trapped in a secret military base and there’s only one way out” storyline takes some care and feeding. The situation is made even worse when it’s given the ham-fisted SyFy treatment. Little attention, little point, and little effort.

December 17, 2021

Mike’s Review: Bingo Hell (2021)

★★★★ out of ★★★★★ Last year brought us engaging septuagenarians battling it out the save their decrepit community center in VFW. Earlier this year saw the posthumous release of George Romero’s frightening PSA, Amusement Park. concerning the oft forgotten repugnance of elder abuse. Now, Amazon Studios is treating us to the latest in elder horror, Bingo Hell. The golden (girls) age is upon us with a new subgenera of horror, AARP horror. You heard it here first!

December 9, 2021

Mike’s Review: The Brilliant Terror (2021) (Another Hole in the Head Film Festival)

★★★★ out of ★★★★★ To be clear, horror is the human condition. Sure there’s ghosts, robots, cannibals, witches, and Jason Voorhees, but all these finely finessed sub-genres are really just an extension of the human condition. Much ink has been poured over this subject, but rarely does a horror documentary get at this hyper-simple truism.

December 3, 2021

Trailer Alert: Studio 666

When we caught wind of this (assuredly) horror comedy last month we weren't entirely clear if we were looking at an elaborate album hype, a hoax, or an actual film.

November 8, 2021

Movie News: Studio 666 Coming Soon!

As ideas slowly become more and more (re) used and reworked filmmaking has progressively embraced the meta. In fact, things have become so meta sometimes it’s difficult to tell when one concept ends and the next begins. Enter the recently announced horror offering featuring…the Foo Fighters?

August 17, 2021

Mike’s Review: The Last Matinee (Popcorn Frights 2021)

★★★★ out of ★★★★★ The Last Matinee is a loving homage to film. More to the point it’s a loving homage and exploration of Argento, Fulchi, grindhouse cinema, slashers, grimy movie theaters, and quite possibly the great Lamberto Bava film Demons. Don’t be fooled though. While The Last Matinee pulls from many of the classics, it’s got its own unique style and flavor, and it’s cram-packed with EYEBALLS.

October 11, 2020

Mike’s Nightstream Review: The Queen of Black Magic (2020)

★★★★.5 out of ★★★★★ In the latest installment of "If you're not watching Indonesian horror movies, you're blowing it," brings us 2020's The Queen of Black Magic. It's true. Indonesia is the new incubator for the creepiest crawlies that the horror genre has to offer. Every country has had their day in the sun. The UK plastered us with Hammer and Amicus throughout the 1960s. The US reimagined the genre with slashers and super killers throughout the 1970s and 80s. And Japan brought a whole new slate of water and hair-borne frights in the late 1990s and in to the early 2000s. Now it's Indonesia time to shine.

February 17, 2020

Mike’s Review: Three from Hell (2019)

★★ out of ★★★★★ At Rob Zombie’s darkened dirtbag core is a full and unfiltered embrace of the age-old adage “if it ain’t broke, don't fix it.” Slow motion. Hyperbolic acting (or in some cases no acting). Closeups so close you can count individual pores Captain Spaulding’s grease-paint soaked forehead. Weirdly rare and off-putting selection of non-Joe Walsh James Gang tracks. If you’ve seen House of a Thousand Corpses and Devil’s Rejects then you’ve been thoroughly exposed to Mr. Zombie’s cinema trickery.

November 11, 2019

Mike’s Book Report: Dr. Sleep

★★.5 out of ★★★★★ This was a herculean task. The public’s mind was so ensconced and involved with the original 1977 novel and the equally transformative 1980 film, that it was hard to envision a story line that would perpetuate this seemingly finite tale. In a classic case of “never say never” esteemed author Stephen King decided that it was time to give Danny Torrance his day in the sun.

September 12, 2019

Mike’s Review: Wolf Creek (2005)

★★★★ out of ★★★★★ The joy of youth. The post-college road trip. Finding your way in vast spaces. Unconstrained, unconfined, uncontrolled. The world is your oyster, until it isn’t.

April 21, 2022

Mike’s Review: The Scary of Sixty-First (2021)

★ out of ★★★★★ A new age of horror is upon us! It’s Jeffrey Epstein Horror. For the record, Jeffrey Epstein is a pretty repugnant character and no one ever asked for Jeffrey Epstein Horror. But it is kind of…uh…interesting.

April 5, 2022

Mike’s Review: Blood Pageant (2021)

1/2 ★ out of ★★★★★ Ted Lange from Loveboat is not Sir Laurence Oliver, neither is Baywatch stalwart, David Chokachi. To be clear, the level of acting in Blood Pageant, and for that matter everything else, is a pretty thin stab at the horror genre.

March 15, 2022

Mike’s Review: Bitch Ass (SXSW 2022)

★★.5 out of ★★★★★ Who’s ready for an early 1990s straight-to-VHS horror-filled romp in the hood? Silly caricatures? Thin and well-trod plot? A vague rip-off of 1980s slashers and a not-so subtle rip-off of the Saw franchise? If any of this sounds remotely interesting then you’re in for a treat! Bitch Ass has got it all.

February 2, 2022

Trailer and Poster Alert! Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022

The sequel/re-quel that no one really asked for is right around the corner. This winter we’ll get to see more septuagenarians and/or octogenarians battle it out in a grudge match that began nearly 50 years ago! Why? Who knows. But it sure helped give the Halloween franchise a kick in the pants!

January 21, 2022

The Scariest Things Review: Scream (2022)

The movie that brought meta front and center to horror, and gave an adrenaline boost to a tired slasher genre is back with its fifth installment. The movie remains meta, and brings a fresh new group of victims... I mean characters... to the screen, along with a few old familiar friends. Is it any good? For a feature this significant it takes all three of the Scariest Things Podcasters to weigh in.

December 27, 2021

Movie Posters We Love: Top Ten Horror Movie Posters from 2021!

We warned you that we’d be back in the theaters in 2021 and we were! The Scariest Things Podcast, spread all across the globe, represented well in theaters far and wide. We were up close and personal for Conjuring III, Halloween Kills, Malignant, Candyman, and many, many others.

December 12, 2021

Mike’s Top 10 Horror Films of 2021!

In 2020, the global pandemic gave us an interesting dynamic in film. Stripped down productions. The re-rise of independent horror. Big budget films either shelved, delayed, or cancelled all together. Last year’s horror scene definitely had a peculiar and, well, dystopian quality. Enter 2021! The big budget films that coldly sat on the shelves for the last year, or in some cases years, or in other cases almost a half century, are now out in the theaters for us all to enjoy. And enjoy them we did! It shouldn’t be a terrible surprise that (often) the more money, time, energy, and talent you ply to your project the better quality you’ll receive in return. Mostly. Here's some of the best from another spooky year...

December 8, 2021

Mike’s Review: My Cherry Pie (2021) (Another Hole in the Head Film Festival)

★★.5 out of ★★★★★ There’s no telling if 2021’s My Cherry Pie qualifies as Oz-spoitation, but it sure looks, sounds, and feels like something straight off of 42nd street. It’s not the pastoral Picnic at Hanging Rock, nor is it the ever-haunting Lake Mungo. Think Wolf Creek with little-to-no-budget, an extra bit of nastiness, and a pinch of grindhouse.

November 30, 2021

Mike’s Review: Slumber Party Massacre (2021)

★.5 out of ★★★★★ Alright. Move along. Move along. There’s nothing to see here. Really, there’s nothing to see. A sad commentary on what should have been one of the most celebrated films this side of Halloween Kills. But, it’s true. The reimagining of the Slumber Party Massacre is a dull and uneven homage to its predecessor.

October 18, 2021

Mike’s Review: Halloween Kills (2021)

★★★★ out of ★★★★★ As demonic crooner Ronnie James Dio once famously opined “when you listen to fools, the mob rules.” Maybe this prescient piece of advice was being plied to the January 6 insurrection, maybe it was being plied to Halloween Kills, but just maybe Dio’s magical ways were sorting out many future truths.

August 9, 2021

Mike’s Portland Horror Film Festival Review: Red River Road (2020)

★★★★ out of ★★★★★ It’s fair to say that we might not know the full impact of the global pandemic tragedy for years or even decades. Some have been tragically impacted by the pandemic, some have wandered in a face-covered fog, and others have irresponsibly stuck their heads in the sand. Everyone has had choices to make during the pandemic and those choices have manifested in the horrible, but they’ve also been used for creativity and good.

February 23, 2020

Mike’s Review: Dr. Sleep (2019)

★★★.5 out of ★★★★★ Nearly 1,000 pages of creepy thoughts, actions, and psychic happenings were laid out between the Shining and its murderous offspring, Dr. Sleep. It seemed impossible that 1) the Shining would be made in to a film, 2) that Stephen King would be so dissatisfied in one of the true horror greats, 3) that it would deserve a remake, 4) the story would evolve in to a 500 page psychedelic mishmash, and 5) that mishmash would be made in to its own celluloid opus. Seem fantastical? Well it is.

January 20, 2020

Trailer Alert: Color Out Of Space (2020)

The most fully realized film version of an HP Lovecraft story? More psychedelic freakouts from Nick Cage? The return of more Mandy-like weirdness? A real live Cthulu monster? Director Richard Stanley's (Island of Dr. Moreau, Hardware, Dust Devil) return to greatness? SO. MANY. QUESTIONS!

October 7, 2019

Mike’s Review: Martin (1978)

★★★★ 1/2 out of ★★★★★ Vampires have been around for a long time (read: possibly forever?) and their story has been told in a weirdly limitless number of ways. Sexy vampires. Gory vampires. Child vampires. Deaf vampires. Suffice it to say, the votes are in and humanity LOVES its vampires!

August 12, 2019

Mike’s Review: Green Inferno (2013)

★★★★ out of ★★★★★ Are you looking for that something extra to jolt you out of life’s day-to-day doldrums? That little something to shock your system in to a complete state of hysteria? Something so odious and vile that your mind won’t know how to process the capital "G" grisly-gore? Your pals at the Scariest Things Podcast have found just the thing. Enter...Green Inferno.

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