Robert’s Review: Mad Heidi (2022)

By ZEDDecember 29, 2022

🧀🧀🧀1/2 out of 🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀
A splatterrific swissploitation film chock full of mayhem, fascists and, above all, dairy products.

Written/Directed by Johannes Hartmann & Sandro Klopfstein

How in the name of all that’s Dairy did I miss this gem of a cheesy revenge flick?! Thankfully, our good friend Chris Cleland recently brought it up and shoved the trailer in front of my eyeballs. Needless to say, I had to rush right out and see it as quickly as possible.

Is it a horror movie? To be honest, it’s probably more thriller than horror, but with the extra-splattery practical effects sprinkled throughout the film, Mad Heidi has at least one foot on the horror side of that “horror-adjacent” line.

Set against the backdrop of a Switzerland that’s been under fascist oppression for 20 years, Mad Heidi tells the tale of, well, Heidi [Alice Lucy in her debut feature]. Not only has she grown up in a world where any cheese other than Meili’s Cheese — the brand owned exclusively by Our Very Swiss Leader, President Meili [Casper Van Dien; Starship Troopers (1997)] — but she’s just watched her boyfriend, Goat Peter [Kel Matsena in his debut feature], get spectacularly executed for going against the will of the State.

Now, Heidi’s mad and she’s lookin’ for some payback!

While all the blood, boobs, and brie cement Mad Heidi squarely in the B-movie neighborhood, the filmmakers actually had a decent amount of crowd-funded cash to bring their project to life. Somewhere in the realm of $3 million (USD), in fact. That’s a lot of cheddar!

..cough…

Because of this, Mad Heidi was able to use many different filming locations, lots of rebellious extras, and never had to skimp on the gouts of fake blood. Alice Lucy was even given a few weeks of combat training so she’d look more comfortable on screen wielding a battleaxe against the hordes of evil cheese fascists.

For all that his role in the film was to spur Heidi into her rampage of revenge, Kel Matsena acquitted himself admirably as the goat herding love interest & black market cheese dealer, Goat Peter. And Rebecca Dyson-Smith [Blood Red Sky (2021)] genuinely seemed to be enjoying herself as Lutz, captain of the guards and, apparently, chief sadist at the Alpenblick prison for women.

Of course, none could hold an overacted candle to the master of B-movies, Casper Van Dien. As cheese magnate and supreme ruler, President Meili, Van Dien chewed up the scenery like a dictatorial mouse in a cheese factory. Even when he had no lines in a scene he was the center of attention; Van Dien-ing all over the place. A better choice for the role doesn’t exist.

Though Mad Heidi takes a little while to get moving, folks who like a fun build-up and movies with an “origin story” feel will love it. With Alice Lucy’s bravado during her action sequences, Mad Heidi succeeds in adding yet another actor to the recently growing list of badass young women; joining the likes of Lauren LaVera [Terrifier 2 (2022)] and Riley Dandy [Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)].