★★ out of ★★★★★ Who knew that there was a sub-genre of horror known as Coachella Horror? Well there’s not, but you heard it here first. Perfect millennials mixed with impossibly mundane feuding, throw in a couple very stylish floppy hats, a little paranormal fright (but not too much), and a gathering of genetically perfect young ladies and -- POW -- it’s Coachella Horror!
🐷🐷.5 out of 🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷 The planet is running out of animals. Literally and figuratively. Hollyweird has given us sharks (Jaws 1-4), rabbits (Night of the Lepus), bears (Grizzy), fish (Piranha), and man’s best friend (Cujo). There’s even been birds, wolves, snakes, rats, and gators, and whatever the hell a sharktopus is supposed to be. One of the things that Hollyweird hasn’t gotten its money-grubbing paws on is the pig, javelina, or boar – until now.
★1/2 out of ★★★★★ A giant pile of poorly executed clichés makes a crappy movie in any language.
★★★★ out of ★★★★★ Everything you never knew you needed to know about Psycho's killer shower.
The award-winning lost-in-the-woods spookfest is coming to Netflix on February 9.