🤡🤡.5 out of 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 Writing is a struggle. Too much exposition gives the appearance of being a churlish jerk who sucks all of the oxygen out of a room. While too little exposition has the air of being aloof, uncaring, and unwilling to let the audience in on the scares. Weirdly, Haunt vacillates between both words, but manages to tell this spooky story in the most ineffective way possible.
Movie Posters We Love: Les Monstres de l’espace (1967)
Who were they running from? What do they fear? What have they seen!?!?! Quartermass and the Pit, AKA Five Million Years to Earth, AKA Les Monstres de l’espace!!! So many names, but just ONE great piece of artwork.
The Scariest Things Podcast Episode LXXXIII: Holiday Horror Movies
Now that our American audience is digesting their Thanksgiving harvest feast, it’s time to turn our attention to Holiday Horror. The rule Mike put to the group was that we couldn’t use Carpenter’s Halloween. No problem, plenty of pictures to pick from!
Trailer Alert: Underwater (2020)
Once more, back into the abyss. The new big-ish budget Kristen Stewart feature brings audiences back to the bottom of the sea with mysterious sea monsters.
Happy Thanksgiving from The Scariest Things!
That’s right! It’s a face-hugger turkey! The Cthurkey craze has inspired folks to come up with some pretty dreadful Thanksgiving feast options, including this here monstrosity. Make sure to drain this of acid blood before Serving. These images may make you want to think twice before cutting into the celebratory roast this year.
Eric’s Review: Bloodsucking Bastards (2015)
★★★ out of ★★★★★
You might hate your job, but at least your supervisor isn’t a vampire transforming your colleagues into thirsty minions. Bloodsucking Bastards is a fun but inconsistent horror comedy populated with colorful office characters, that in the end feels like an R-rated TV sitcom.
Robert’s Review: The Piper (2015)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
An emotionally brutal and physically bloody South Korean take on the legend of the Pied Piper of Hamelin.
Trailer Alert: Antebellum (2020)
US + Get Out + Lost + the Shining + the Others + The Grudge + butterflies + Janelle Monae = possible (?) greatness! Antebellum is one of the hot new things coming out in 2020 and we here at the Scariest Things Podcast are INTRIGUED.
Mike’s Review: Tenebre (1982)
🔪🔪🔪🔪1/2 out of 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 The rules surrounding Giallo have been firmly established. Beginning somewhere around 1964 with Mario Bava’s Blood and Black Lace and continuing to the present with such color-soaked homosexual freakouts as 2019’s Knife+Heart, Giallo has been around the block.
The Scariest Things Podcast Episode LXXXII: Stephen King Movies
All hail the King from Maine! This was a big year for King as there were FOUR King productions: we got the monster hit It: Chapter 2, the reboot of Pet Semetary, The Shining sequel Doctor Sleep, and the Netflix production In the Tall Grass. Plus, the television series Castle Rock. We live in a Stephen King world, and now The Scariest Things settles in to talk about it.
Robert’s Review: Hidden (2015)
★★★1/2 out of ★★★★★
The debut feature film by writing/directing team Matt & Ross Duffer — a.k.a. The Duffer Brothers — shows they knew what they were doing even before they took over the world with Netflix’s Stranger Things.
Joseph’s Review: The Odd Family: Zombie on Sale (London Korean Film Festival 2019)
★★1/2 out of ★★★★★ The latest zombie movie offering from South Korea focuses on family squabbles and humor, aiming more […]
A is for Amityville: An Alphabetical Horror Movie Quiz
Wake up, Nancy! Falling asleep for a pop quiz could be DEADLY. Because, you know, Freddie might get you. Let’s see how well you know your second level horror titles. Get your #2 pencils ready. This is a closed book test.
Mike’s Review: Eli (2019)
★★ out of ★★★★★ Hey Netflix, we see you over there! Yeah, you. Trying your darnedest to jump on that horror bandwagon, peer in to the abyss, produce that oh-so-perfect horror film, and reap the ghoulish accolades of horror fans everywhere. Just so you know, it’s not working. While 2019’s Eli is awfully close to being a solid film you still have a lot of work to do to make in the fast-paced world of horror.
Joseph’s Review: Mark of the Beast: The Legacy of the Universal Werewolf (Buried Alive Film Festival 2019)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★ An engaging look at lycanthrope cinema from its earliest days to recent years, Mark of the […]
Joseph’s Review: The Shed
★★★★ out of ★★★★★ Two friends find themselves at odds when a vampire holes up on one of the boy’s […]
The Scariest Things Podcast Episode LXXXI: Haunted Houses
Sometimes the star of the movie isn’t a person, or even a creature. Sometimes it’s a building! Eric and Liz review some of their favorite Haunted Houses.
Mike’s Book Report: Dr. Sleep
This was a herculean task. The public’s mind was so ensconced and involved with the original 1977 novel and the equally transformative 1980 film, that it was hard to envision a story line that would perpetuate this seemingly finite tale. In a classic case of “never say never” esteemed author Stephen King decided that it was time to give Danny Torrance his day in the sun.
Eric’s Review: The House With a Clock in its Walls (2018)
★★★★ out of ★★★★★
Eli Roth proves that he has a gentler comic touch with his tone-perfect gateway spook-fest The House With a Clock in its Walls, featuring Jack Black, Cate Blanchett, and young Owen Vaccaro.
Eric’s FilmQuest Review: To Your Last Death (2019)
★★★1/2 out of ★★★★★
To Your Last Death is a unicorn of a movie. A gory R-rated 2-D Western animated film. It’s a rowdy romp that uses familiar themes but takes full advantage of the unusual animated medium. It feels like an animated comic book on steroids.
Eric’s FilmQuest Review: Finale (2019)
★★★★1/2 out of ★★★★★
This savage and grisly new Danish production features a carefully threaded story line that follows two young women, stuck working at a lonely rural gas station, who are subjected to what at first appears to be creepy pranking turns into something wholly sinister. This movie will reward hardened horror fans. Not for the faint of heart!
Robert’s Review: EndZeit (2018)
★★★ out of ★★★★★
A beautifully shot zombie-adjacent fable about nature, death, guilt, and self-determination.
Happy Halloween from The Scariest Things!
It’s our favorite time of the year! Everybody have a safe (but scary) Halloween out there! TST suggests this is when you make your scary movie commitments and resolutions. Settle in for the evening waiting for the trick or treaters, and put on a spooky flick. You deserve it! The best time to map out a solid schedule of horror movies is when you are completely addled with sugar.
Joseph’s Review: Red Letter Day (2019)
★★★1/2 out of ★★★★★ Red Letter Day’s uniquely Canadian spin on “mob rules” horror adds a helping of humor to […]
Robert’s Review: The Drone (2019)
★1/2 out of ★★★★★
It’s the same team from Zombeavers (2014), but they’re not playing in the same league any more.
Horror Infographics: Horror Scopes a Fusion of Fate and Fright by Brady Johnson
Check out this brilliant horror movie themed astrological zodiac chart! Do these characters reflect your sign? Your personality? Beautiful work by Brady Johnson.
The Scariest Thing Podcast Episode LXXX: Our Personal Movie Horror-scopes
Does the year you were born say anything about the state of horror movies? Is there any equivalency between how good the movies from your birth year and how much you like Horror movies? Probably not, but it’s still fun to think about.
Eric’s FilmQuest Review: Making Monsters (2019)
★ ★ ★ out of ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
A young couple who have achieved minor celebrity status through a YouTube jump-scare pranking show, and find themselves victims of their own success as their weekend getaway finds them terrified and trying to escape a wicked and deadly plot against them and, curiously, a ghost.
Mike’s Review: Girl on the Third Floor (2019)
★★.5 out of ★★★★★ As we’ve all come to learn in the horror game, a haunted house, no matter how haunted, does not a movie make. For that matter, a bunch of spooky trappings within a haunted house, also does not a movie make.
Robert’s Review: Sweetheart (2019)
★★★★1/2 out of ★★★★★
A fantastic heroine, an amphibious sea monster, and a tropical island. You should already be watching this movie.