JoinedMarch 18, 2018
Articles980
Comments54
★★★★ out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Betrayal. At its core, A Blind Bargain is a movie about the worst kind of betrayal you can imagine. Desperation and greed convince a young and troubled Vietnam veteran to submit his own mother to the schemes of a mad scientist. This groovy '70s retro thriller takes a cosmic turn through life-extending experimentation. This was the centerpiece movie of the 2025 H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival.

★★★1/2 out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸 🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Curiosity is a dangerous thing. In cosmic horror, the exploration of truths can lead to fates worse than death, and yet, people will still seek to know things they really should leave alone. In Tribe, a man lost in the remote badlands in the southern Sierras is going through a horrible physical transformation. His hope is that some media drives he found in his Airstream trailer will tell him why he is in the predicament he is in. His salvation may come in the form of his own found footage material, but it also may foretell his own doom.

★★★1/2 out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸🩸🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

The Conjuring: Last Rites is another solid entry into the Warren Saga. Once again, Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson are on point as Lorraine and Ed Warren, providing grounded and passionate performances. The film is once again loaded with first-rate jump scares and fantastic period piece production design. The ghost story this time out is a muddled mess, though, and some of the secondary characters feel forced, preventing it from achieving the greatness of the first entry in the franchise.

Are you afraid of reptiles? Horror movies suggest that you just might be. There is an abundance of movies with reptile and amphibian horror themes. Snakes? Lots of you. Betting odds would suggest that you either fear spiders or snakes, or both. Alligators and crocodiles? Probably not something that applies, unless you live in Florida or Egypt. But, how about frogs? Or turtles? If you are, then this episode is made for you.
Apparently, the long TV format suits Alien perfectly. Fox continues its remarkable rehabilitation of its two valuable action/horror IPs, with Alien Earth doing for the xenomorph franchise what Prey did for the Predator franchise. It has injected lyrical symbolism into a series that has waxed and waned in intellectual rigor.
If you hear squeaky shoes, run away! The very popular trope of coulrophobia, the fear of clowns, taps into childhood fears and manages to go to almost unthinkable extremes. With the rise of Art and Pennywise, the horrorverse knows there is a vein that taps into real, deep-seated fears. Join Heather, Mike, and Eric in our breakdown of some clown-themed films for your consumption.
★★★★1/2 out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Crossword (2024) is a psychological thriller that pays close attention to the smallest details and is rich in symbolism. James is struggling to come to terms with the drowning of his young daughter, Lily. His grief is expressed through the daily crossword puzzle, which he believes is an omen communicating with him.

★★★★ out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Being an independent horror movie maker isn't easy. Eddie Mathews sacrifices everything in his power to keep his directing dreams alive. If that means living in his disapproving mother-in-law's house and pitching presidential bobbleheads as a side hustle, then that's what he has to do. The horror must be made!

★★★ out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸1/2 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

What the Tide Dragged In (Lo Que Trajo La Marea) is an emotionally charged, Chilean tale of sisterhood and loss. Two sisters go to the coast to comply with their mother's wish to have her ashes cast to the sea. Their mom warned them of the mysteries of the sea, and it has a vast power that will come to claim what it wants.

★★1/2 out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Teacher's Pet goes back to school and follows Clara, an overachieving foster care teenager who has become the target of a serial killer masquerading as a substitute teacher. The characters are compelling, even if the plot has some blind spots regarding distinctive red flags that should have exposed the villain's deception.

★★★★★ out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸🩸🩸1/2 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Weapons has arrived in theaters, and it is one of the most original horror mysteries in memory. Give Zach Cregger the keys to the horror castle. He has elevated himself to the top of the ranks of horror storytellers. With Weapons, he has delivered an engrossing and wicked puzzle that comes together with shocking revelations, dark humor, and brutal viscera. The movie is a masterclass in character building, non-linear editing, and bravura acting from the entire cast.

★★★★.5 out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Have you ever desired to be a haunted house? Deck of Haunts will feed that desire, as well as many hapless investigators who want to discover the horrible truth about what you are. There is a dark heart beating at the center of this old mansion on a blasted hill, and it needs to feed on the souls and sanity of those who dare enter it. This is a digital card deck-building game that combines with a construction simulator. This game presents a significant strategic challenge. Good luck! It starts easy and becomes deviously hard.

★★★ out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Place famously eccentric actor, John Malkovich into a story about a messianic pop star leading a death cult commune, under the A24 umbrella and you have the makings of an art house classic, right? Almost. It's a combination of The Menu, Midsommar, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. This A24 production falls a bit shy of its incredible promise.

Horror Mockumentaries succeed because of the implied truths they pretend to offer. The authenticity, tangibility, and verisimilitude all convey that what you are watching actually happened. And, it could happen to YOU. Because it is a MOCKumentary and not a DOCumentary, this is all fiction, though, and thank goodness for that. Some of the most brutal and horrific stories originate from this favorite subgenre of horror. Join us in Episode 199, as the Scariest Things investigates the truth of Mockumentaries.
We have reached a milestone recording episode, and also a good milestone date for horror movies. The first 25 years of the century, nay, the millennium, have passed. It is an opportune time to look back at the first quarter century and show our favorite movies of the past 25 years. We like our lists and rankings here at The Scariest Things!
★★★★ out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Are you a fan of obscure and cheesy cult films? Odds are, you would appreciate the efforts of Sinister Cinema, the Medford, Oregon-based distribution company that lovingly restored and distributed thousands of almost-forgotten films. This documentary from Jack Perez goes in-depth on the company that wouldn't let these films die.

★★★1/2 out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

How is it that babysitting, traditionally the lowest common denominator flexible starter job, is so dangerous? Dooba Dooba is a lo-fi found footage film exploring the perils of a woman babysitting an odd girl full of tricks and dark secrets. If you think you know babysitter horror, think again; this movie has some wild twists. The film creates a moat of anxiety which will have you twitching from the dramatic irony of knowing too much, while the characters head blindly into awful decisions.

★★ out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

In a slightly dystopian future, Mia Sheldon finds herself imprisoned at home for the crime of having a miscarriage. She has been acquitted of her husband's death, which was ruled a suicide. What opens as a promising premise slides into the overly familiar. Unfortunately, the film dodges what could have been a fascinating sociological critique. House of Ashes contains some humorous and chilling moments, but overall, the film fell a little flat.

★★★★ out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

It Needs Eyes examines the link between the dangers of obsessive and addictive behavior when coping with grief. "It", in this case, is the dark web. Brutal social media requires people to watch the dreadful material to have any power. It has found an addict, corrupting the otherwise innocent Rowan, who is struggling through grief by watching things she should not see. This is a beautiful, slow-burning movie featuring terrific performances from young actresses Raquel Lebish and Isadora Leiva. The film never terrifies, but the story will get under your skin and unnerve you.

★★★★ out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Alma and the Wolf spins a strange and surprising story that weaves themes of unfulfilled dreams and dark secrets. Ethan Embry, Li Jun Li, and the rest of the cast provide an emotionally poignant and ultimately tragic fable. Part psychological thriller, part folk horror, this film may be the best showcase of Embry's acting chops in his extensive filmography. This movie was the opening film at the Portland Horror Film Festival.

★★★★ of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸🩸🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Predator: Killer of Killers is the second installment in the reinvigoration of the venerable action/sci-fi/horror franchise, following the 2023 release of Prey. Suffice it to say, the Predator franchise is in good hands. This animated feature picks up the baton from Prey, going back in history to epic battles between the Yautja (Predators, for the uninformed) and warriors of ages past. The production is gloriously illustrated, packed with action, and is written according to the mantra of show, don't tell.

THE MOST DIVERSE HORROR FEST IN THE WORLD TURNS 10!

Our hometown favorite film festival is kicking off its tenth annual showcase of independent horror films. World-renowned for their horror short films and underground horror features from across the globe, The Scariest Things is once again proud to be associated with them. Our team will cover the films, interview the filmmakers, and once again run the Horror Movie Greenlight Pitch experience at the Saturday night closing party, outdoors and under the stars at Dot's Cafe. Be part of the Portland Horror Film Fan community and join us!

★★★★★ out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸🩸🩸🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Bring Her Back is the sophomore horror feature effort from the Australian Philippou brothers, who two years ago produced the surprise hit Talk To Me. I am happy to report that they have once again delivered a spine-tingling and intense thriller that will haunt your soul for years to come. Sally Hawkins provides a villainess for the ages, and the rest of the young cast become sympathetic pawns in a horrifying possession experiment. The movie is an excellent original story, but you need to be willing to sit through a slow, steady burn and withstand some savage gory moments.

For much of the Scariest Things crew, we are discussing horror movies from our backyard. This is our home turf. The Pacific Northwest is a suitable backdrop for horror, with its often gloomy weather, quirky urban cities, and history of cryptids. Famously, we keep it weird in the PNW, and the movies reflect these tastes.
Are you the type of gamer who enjoys battling hordes of the undead? Do you enjoy strategic scenarios that feel consequential, and every turn feels like life or death? Steam has two new zombie-apocalypse: Into the Dead: Our Darkest Days and Infection Free Zone are two zombie-themed games that will get your pulse pounding. As a bonus, both are relatively inexpensive games that will provide many hours of grim entertainment.
★★★ out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Control Freak might be the itchiest movie ever made. Vy Nguyen is a self-help guru on the rise and on the cusp of great fame. Despite her outward confidence, she has developed a nervous habit of scratching the back of her head. The psychological effect is due to a curse handed down to her from her parents, and what starts as an itch threatens to destroy her and everything she has achieved. You will be scratching your head by the end of this movie. (For many reasons)

Jump Scares are the foundation of so many horror movies. This blast of adrenaline keeps horror fans coming back to the cineplex. Great horror movies, awful horror movies—they all use them. The Scariest Things team discusses our favorite use of the easiest and perhaps most essential trope in the genre.
★★★★1/2 out of ★★★★★

Intensity: 🩸🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Sinners proves positively that Ryan Coogler has mastered the art of making a horror blockbuster. He resides on a short list of directors who can not only deliver stunning artistic achievements, but at the same time knows how to please a demanding audience. Bathed in boozy, bluesy period atmosphere, it represents swampy cool, and celebrates the black experience of black culture in the 1930s Jim Crow South. Already a box office smash, the Academy should start preparing for another horror movie to crash the Oscar party come the next nomination period.

The Long Walk, one of Stephen King's oldest un-filmed published works, will arrive in September in wide theatrical release. In The Long Walk, 100 young men participate in a walk down US Highway 1. It is a death march for 99 participants and a dream come true for the lone survivor. These contestants are to keep up a pace of three miles per hour or risk a warning. Three warnings, and the attending military patrol will shoot the straggler dead. The intense trailer created plenty of buzz.
Overlook, the great New Orleans Horror Film Festival, has delivered its goods. Long-time Patreon supporter of The Scariest Things, Robyn Marcotte, joined us to share her experiences with Eric and Liz on the festival. More than ever, I found that I didn't have enough time to see nearly enough of the movies. Still, I was able to catch eight feature films and 23 short films. You have to pick and choose, as it is physically impossible to see all the movies. So, it became a bit of a guessing game as to what was going to be the best watch. In this episode, we share our thoughts on everything we did at the Festival.

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Give us your email and get The Scariest Things in your inbox!

Scariest Socials