Ready to join the pantheon of preposterously peaceful animals turned violent beasts of vengeance with the likes of Black Sheep and Zombeavers, Slotherhouse enters the cuddly horror space with a killer sloth. Yep. That slow-moving, sleepy-eyed docile animal has become a bit of a cause celebre among lovers of all things cute.
My friend Bree and Katrina share my particular love for fuzzy animals, particularly Bree, who has tee shirts, stuffies, posters, you name it, she’s got a sloth on it. Katrina and I have a shared love for Wombats. Similarly cuddly teddy bear-like animals. And when Katrina found the trailer for Slotherhouse, I thought “Nooooo, this can’t be real.” But lo and behold, it’s a real thing. Sloths are the embodiment of gentleness and sweetness. So naturally, somebody had to make a horror movie about it.
I’m not sure Bree, who is NOT a horror movie fan, has taken to the idea of Slotherhouse. We just may have to see it together.
The plot summary per the film producers:
Emily Young, a senior, wants to be elected as her sorority’s president. She adopts a cute sloth, thinking it can become the new mascot and help her win, until a string of fatalities implicate the sloth as the main suspect in the murders.
Slotherhouse
It remains to be seen if Alpha, the sloth, is indeed a slow-moving killer. I hope it is, and not some sort of amped-up sloth that manages fast moves. (A scene in the trailer suggests that it might be quicker than we expect.) The movie stars Lisa Ambalavanar as Emily, and there is a bevy of sorority sisters to get slaughtered with her.
For a change, I’m happy that this is a PG-13 movie. I made mention in my recent review of Hundreds of Beavers, that I have grown weary of trying to make a cuddly thing gory and violent to a disturbing degree (Pooh Blood and Honey and Banana Splits come to mind.) If this movie goes for silliness and goes for slapstick violence, they might be on to something.
History suggests that this movie is going to be awful. But the trailer is cute and has some fun moments. If it can be as amusing as say… Happy Death Day, that would be a huge success. And if we’re being honest here, if it isn’t AWFUL, it’s a huge success.
The movie so far has this going for it:
- A Great Title. It is handy that if you say it quickly, it sounds like Slaughterhouse.
- A Great Tagline: “Don’t Rush, Die Slow”
- A Wonderful looking animatronic sloth.
- A Preposterous concept.
- A Great Poster!
So, it has a chance. A slim, slow chance, but the marketing seems to have hit the mark correctly. Slotherhouse is directed by Matthew Goodhue, and this is his sophomore feature effort. The movie is Rated PG-13 and is slated for an August 30 theatrical release date. I did not see this coming. Probably because the sloth is slow and sneaky!
