“I will totally protect you. Yo, I am so buff, I got you covered, girl.”
Stu
“Come on Franklin! It’s gonna be a fun trip! If I have any more fun today, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to take it!”
Franklin Hardesty
“You know what Harry? You’re a regular barn-yard exhibit. Your sheep’s eyes, your chicken guts, piggy friends and shit for brains!”
Billie Northrup
“If you could understand crazy, it wouldn’t be crazy.”
Elsa Kast
Horror films are rife with characters that you just want to die horribly in the movie. Mike and Eric discuss some of Horror’s most despicable characters.
Just die already! Oooooooh! That guy is such an asshole! Horror movies often need not just a scary villain, but also some antagonists who either conspire against our protagonists or are so inept as to bring upon ruin to the ones we are actually rooting for. These are the jerks of horror cinema, and there is a proud tradition of them. These are the ones who had it coming!
Our thanks to Amy Faust, who encouraged us to pick up a Reddit theme where they discussed their favorite or LEAST favorite annoying character. In the end, that Reddit group determined that they didn’t like Samuel, the oddly creepy kid from The Babadook or Franklin, from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre… a popular choice. So, this was a fun exploration, and sorting through what characters to pick from a sea of so many annoying characters.
I tried to stick with annoying characters from good movies. There are some films, like most Troma productions, where ALL the characters are annoying. Same thing holds for Rob Zombie movies. But if it’s a quality film, and the aggravating characters serve a purpose… bring on the jerks!
Much thanks to the Final Girl website who came up a great, comprehensive, and thoughtful list of the types of jerks in horror movies. And, apparently, there are seven types:
- The jerk that you can’t help but like.
- The jerk who turns out not to be a jerk.
- The jerk who may have a point.
- The jerks who are extremely irritating.
- The jerk who you feel bad for disliking.
- The jerk who is a power mad bully.
- The cowardly jerk who dicks over everybody!
“We owe it to the brain of our species to stand here and die… without destroying a source of wisdom.”
Dr. Carrington
“I work for the Company. But don’t let that fool you, I’m really an OK guy.”
Carter Burke
“There’s no defense against the will of God. There’s no court of appeals in hell. The end times have come; not in flames, but in mist…”
Mrs. Carmody
You love to hate em, or you hate to love ’em. Sometimes you just want to fast forward through their scenes, and now you have to listen to us talk about ’em. Enjoy, if you can!
“Let them stay upstairs. Let them. Too many ways those monsters can get in here. We’ll see who’s right. We’ll see, when they come begging me to let them in down here.”
Harry Cooper
“The plan is, you take a nice tall drink of shut the fuck up!”
CJ
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