Don’t drink it! Kombucha (2025)
Intensity 🩸🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸
Directed by Jake Myers
Written by Geoff Bakken and Jake Myers
Kombucha brings body horror to the workplace. Symbio is a company that positions itself as a place where struggling Liberal Arts creative types can achieve the same professional success as those who went into the technical fields and prospered. Luke is a struggling musician who takes the bait. Soon, he will find out that Symbio’s secret to success lies in the mysterious drink Kombucha.
I’ll bet you never really trusted Kombucha, right? You see it in the health food section of the grocery store, and it looks pretty… until you take a closer look and see all the organic debris floating in the liquid. What is it? More specifically, what is the SCOBY? The technical definition is: Symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast. Yeah. I’m not convinced that it will taste good. Surprisingly, legions of fans swear by its energy-instituting benefits. It’s natural!
Kombucha is the full-length version of a short body-horror comedy film,”Kombucha!”, that Myers and Bakken produced in 2024 (Short film linked below). It was a big fan favorite at several film festivals, enough that it took the big leap many short film directors dream of. Similar to The Cleansing Hour and Lights Out, the film retained its kernel of story. Kombucha expanded on its central concept into a feature-length production, with many of the same cast members, and did it with winning results. It is good to see the best horror shorts get promoted to the big leagues.
The Cast of Kombucha:
- Terrence Carey plays Luke Merritt, a devoted musician who can’t seem to catch a break in the music industry. Under duress, he has to consider other life options.
- Claire McFadden plays Kelsey Rhodes, the managing director of the Symbio consulting team.
- Paige Bourne plays Elyse, Luke’s girlfriend, who has given up her drawing career for a more sensible job in the biosciences.
- Jesse Kendall plays Andy, a former bandmate of Luke’s who recruits Luke to Symbio on the promise of combining creativity with proper compensation.
- Magdalena Conway plays Rachel, an overworked Symbio employee. She goes to desperate lengths to avoid becoming further embedded in the company.
- Charin Alvarez plays Tammy, Rachel’s mother, who suspects a deep conspiracy at Symbio. Tammy blames them for what happened to Rachel.
- Lily Galluzo plays Gabi, another musical associate of Luke’s, who has turned to busking on the street for donations.
A Synopsis of Kombucha:
Late at night, Rachel is slaving away in the otherwise empty Symbio office on a project deadline. Her mother calls, suggesting that she’s working too hard, and after initially dismissing her mother’s claims, it sinks in. She’s a pawn in a greater scheme. The next morning, during a performance review, rather than succumbing to the will of the company, she drinks from a bottle of bleach, killing herself.
Next, we are introduced to Luke as he strums away, singing to a lightly attended bar. Music is Luke’s life. It’s all he ever wanted to do, but the record-label executive he was hoping to see doesn’t show up for the gig. Dejected, he heads back to be comforted by his girlfriend Elyse, and a surprise visit from one of his old band-mates, Andy, who has had a similar life experience. Andy abandoned his musical aspirations to join Symbio, a company that excels at tapping into the creative talents of artists who otherwise would become victims of their own ambitions. As it so happens, they’re hiring!
The Assignment:
When Elyse expresses frustrations with Luke, she threatens to break up with him over his lack of professional prospects. So, Luke decides to give Symbio a try. Upon arriving at Symbio, he spots a large jar of Kombucha with a chunk of the mother SCOBY floating at the top. It resembles an enormous booger floating in tea. Yummy! Kelsey quickly arrives and grants Luke a high-wage job, right on the spot. When Luke is startled by the offer, Kelsey offers up the rationale:
One of the great tragedies of our time is how the underemployed liberal arts majors are toiling away in menial jobs, distracted by dreams of stardom, when they really have no chance of success. Meanwhile the corporate world is run by finance and engineering majors with zero imagination or empathy. But we’ve cracked the code on how creatives can thrive and inject new life into stagnant businesses. And we practice what we preach.”
Kelsey
Kelsey encourages Luke to drink Symbio’s custom Kombucha. She gives him Rachel’s old workstation, now a makeshift shrine. But before Luke can begin working, Tammy barges into the office and accuses Symbio of killing her daughter. Kelsey quickly dismisses Tammy, allowing Luke to dive into his new job.
Luke’s work is progressing well. Later, Kelsey asks him if he’s started drinking the kombucha, he admits, “I’m more of a coffee man.” Subsequently, Kelsey implicitly threatens him with subordinate behavior. She assumes his task load, and immediately Luke understands: Drink the Kombucha. Initially, it works great, giving him lots of energy and focus. It has some serious side effects, though. His body rejects the kombucha, with messy (and hilarious) bathroom results. In addition, Luke is receiving visions that seem to emanate from the slimy beverage.
Meanwhile, Elyse becomes worried about Symbio, even though she had initially persuaded Luke to take it. She discovers Rachel’s story and finds Tammy. Tammy thinks that vampires run Symbio, and is eager to help out. Elyse finds the vampire conspiracy outlandish, but the two women commit to saving Luke from the clutches of an evil employer and something awful in the Kombucha.
Evaluation of Kombucha
In an unusual turn of production, the feature film spun off the concept for the short film. It adds storytelling depth that most feature films that start as shorts lack. The horror in the workspace that was explored in the short film was a hilarious gag, but Kombucha creates a strong framework of social criticism. In an interview with Variety, Jake Myers noticed that Kombucha was a beverage often associated with modern start-up companies—the new office workspaces of WeWork and the hive-mind mentality of high-tech and new-money.
With Luke, they have found the everyman artist. Despite all her embodied evil, Elyse tapped into an uncomfortable truth. Why should all the material benefits go to the crypto bros and tech wizards? Art matters. Unfortunately, it often doesn’t pay good wages. All of the familiar cliches ring true. Actors forced to work waitressing jobs between gigs and poets who NEVER get paid for their art. For artists, life isn’t fair. Symbio embodies an economic oasis for creative minds, except that a sentient beverage blob runs the whole operation. No biggie! I’m sure the ensemble of Chicago actors who got to work on this film could identify with this dilemma. There are no superstars here, but perhaps Kombucha will be that resume stuffer that gets them a bigger opportunity.
Carey’s chill demeanor provided fun reactions to the SCOBY’s body horror. Be prepared for bloody boogers, volcanic diarrhea, and eventual cosmic monstrosities. Luke managed to hold it together, but such is the case when you don’t want to lose a lucrative job. The practical body horror gag effects are executed well: appropriately icky. You overlook such things. McFadden plays a fine counterpoint performance. She’s not quite the boss from hell, but she is a manipulative walking yellow flag and has fine, dry comic timing.
Concluding Thoughts:
This is a little independent film that clawed its way up from the short film stage. Often, the translations feel like taffy stretched too thin, but not Kombucha. Instead, this movie succeeded in broadening the short-film premise into something bigger. It retained the gross-out factor and the fun that the short film delivered, but gave it an excellent throughline and a well-honed, dark satirical take on what our culture values.
The movie will certainly make you hesitate before grabbing a bottle of kombucha, that mysterious drink that seems to have arrived out of a cynical hippie marketing ploy. (And that’s coming from a tie-dyed-in-the-wool son of hippie parents.) Think of it. Who wants to drink something that is formed from a bacteria and yeast combination, which has a floating gelatinous object in it? PASS! For those of you courageous enough to enjoy kombucha, you have my grudging admiration. For the record, I have my own dubious beverage preferences: fruity Dr. Pepper Zero variants like blackberry and strawberries-and-cream. It’s a vice, and there may not be a more artificial beverage in existence. So, I’m guilty as charged.
I had initially seen the short film at the Overlook Film Festival, along with several other Horror in the Workplace short films. Kombucha is available streaming on Amazon. It is rated R for gory body horror, violence, sexual situations, and language. The body horror has a definite icky factor to it, but nothing so graphic to traumatize sensitive audiences.
Review by Eric Li
Here’s the original short film: