Intensity: 🩸🩸 out of 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸
Directed by Jon Wright
Grabbers is a boozy and cheeky creature feature that, a bit like alcohol consumption, is a lot of fun at the beginning though i doesn’t sit so well the longer you consume it.
I was really looking forward to this movie, claiming dibs on reviewing it from my Scariest Things colleagues. It had a fabulously Lovecraftian tentacular creature, for which I am always a sucker (pun intended). And this little Irish movie looked to have so much pluck and spunk, a real Attack the Block or Shaun of the Dead horror-comedy vibe. The monsters don’t disappoint. They are spectacular. It’s a bit CG-heavy, but impressive given what must have been a miniscule budget.
The Cast: Charming, Classic Irish Archetypes:
- Ruth Bradley plays Garda Lisa Nolan, a feisty female cop playing substitute for a departing sergeant in a village on an island off the Irish coast, full of ambition and sass.
- Garda Ciaran O’Shea (Richard Coyle), the visiting constable, is nursing a continuous hangover.
- Paddy (Lalor Roddy), is a local fisherman who is the first contact with the creatures.
- Dr. Smith (Russell Tovey) is a scientist who came to investigate pilot whales.
Summary: Drunken Shenanigans with Tentacle Monsters!
A fishing boat is introduced in the preamble, so we know that SOMETHING nabbed three fishermen. Of course, whatever abducted the fisherman has landed on shore. Paddy has caught something in one of his lobster pots, and he figures he’s made the find of the century, dubbing the odd creature a “Grabber”. (Hmmm… Tremors, anyone?) A pod of pilot whales has also been washed ashore, indicating that something much bigger than what Paddy caught is doing some nasty business in the bay. The creature comes to shore that night and nabs a few locals.
Lisa and Ciaran are still trying to work as a team to investigate the mysterious disappearances. There’s a great gag with the head of one of the victims that made me chuckle… and now the constables realize that there is a large creature mauling the populace. Paddy managed not to get eaten. He fended off and subdued the creature he had caught, which escaped. Then Lisa, Ciaran, and Smith all dispatch the beast that Paddy captured, in an amusing sequence.
Eventually, they conclude that the creatures are allergic to blood alcohol, sustained off of blood, and must be in contact with water. Aha! This leads to the fun element of everyone getting drunk to fight off the monsters properly. Or at least it’s fun for a little while. In acts two and three, the villagers get soused and cannot deal with the monsters properly, which is played for laughs. It works for a while but they beat the drunken drum A LOT. Curiously, most of the villagers are unaware of the monsters until they are all gathered together at a hastily thrown-together open bar party that our protagonists have determined is the best way to keep everyone alive.
Evaluation:
The premise is a fun idea—or at least fun for a while. And then, like a Saturday Night Live skit that doesn’t know when to quit, it goes on too long. The romance between Lisa (who I found adorable) and Ciaran (who was not) was devoid of any real spark, despite the script’s best efforts. When trying to lay a trap for the monster, they seem completely unfazed by a Lovecraftian behemoth thundering around the countryside and are more keen on pseudo-romantic babble. But, then again, Lisa is drunk. The forced dramatic irony is that Ciaran, the character who is usually drunk, is the sober one. Dr. Smith acts as an awkward three’s-company romantic tension, and that three-legged stool is a bit wobbly too.
Act three is an action horror piece reminiscent of Jurassic Park, Aliens, The Blob, and many other big monster climaxes. Except, of course, that everyone is drunk. At least the director and writers were astute enough to make the inebriation an obstacle for the townsfolk to overcome, in addition to the monsters. It was pretty formulaic, though. Eventually, the drunken shenanigans lost their charm, much like the waning hours of parties I attended in college. WOOOOO!!!! PARTY!!! Urrrfff… I think I have to sit down for a bit… and zznnnnrrrkkk… huh?
Final Thoughts:
Fortunately, the movie didn’t want to make me barf. But also like a few of those college parties, I’m not sure that I enjoyed myself the whole time. I’m also a little torn about how this movie reinforces the stereotype of the Irish as drunkards. It is an Irish production, with assistance from the National Irish Film Board. And all the people in it, even the old drunk Paddy, are endearing. But is that an image that they embrace? I guess so. I also recognize that many critics out there enjoyed this much more than I did, so your mileage may vary.
Grabbers is Not Rated, probably an R… but a light R. Lots of swearing, but it’s in that particular Irish “Feckin” and “Shite” that doesn’t sound as harsh to my ears. There is a little gore… but this film feels on the border of PG-13 and R. It’s suitable for teens. It’s available for rent on Amazon Prime, Hulu, iTunes, and YouTube.
Also… I’m going to have to track how many horror movies have the “They’re coming to get you Barabara!” scene from Night of the Living Dead in it. Add Grabbers to that list.
